a rant, just in time for summer

I have been to 8 stores in 3 days looking for a swimsuit. I am a few pounds form the big -100 and I want to look good when we go on our trips. Something in me is shouting that I've EARNED it. We're going to Indiana in April and Atlanta in June, and both trips come with access to pools and spas. It's funny, b/c for YEARS I was told "you could wear X if you only lost some weight." Well, I've lost the equivalent of Kate Moss and guess what? That's a damn lie!

I know I have very specific (picky) requirements in what I want in my suit: No flowers, no black, no skirt, no halter (it aggravates my neck injury), must be a one piece (mock tankini is okay but not a real one), must have some sort of strap(s), must cost less than $40, must be able to try on before purchase. Everything I've seen has been too "Lets play bingo then hit up Sizzlers before 4pm" or "Hello, I'm a hooker and I have a kid!" I think spending $100-$180 on a swimsuit is dumb, even if you keep it and use it for a few years (in theory). I had 4-5 suits fall apart on me b/c they were used 2 times a week when I did water aerobics religiously. After talking around to swimmers, I found out that if you actually get into the water, a suit isn't going to last more than a season, and you're lucky if it lasts a whole season. I'm not an Olympic swimmer, so I'm not spending the equivalent of a car payment on one item of clothing that's going to fall apart in a few months. I'd rather buy a suit for $40 or less and take the $60 and upgrade my running shoes since I run for at least 60mins a day EVERY day.

It all boiled over on me the other day when I was seeking advice at my online weight loss group. Like bras, some people are more supportive than others. One woman, who is just starting out and needs to lose about as much as I have overall, told me (in a not overly mean but still catty way) that I was whining and at my current size, I should be able to wear anything and I should be happy that I now fit into a bikini, so I should just pick a bikini already. Wow what a "shut up" that was! Look, I'm not going to lie here. I have a lot of excess skin. W/o the skin I'd probably fit into a size 0-2. Right now I'm a 2-4. NO ONE with that much excess skin should be seen in public in a bikini. EVER. Just because you CAN put it on does not mean you SHOULD. This doesn't just apply to weight loss either. CAN vs. SHOULD is an important dressing lesson everyone should take a moment to apply every day. A trip to Walmart proves it. So, I was polite back but I burst her bubble about the cute little yellow polka dot bikini she's dreaming about. Well, unless she has the $25,000-$40,000 to get all the extra skin cut off....

oh and here's another thing that's bothered me recently. When I was a kid, my mom would buy us 2 piece suits and we'd all look cute and the suit came as a SET. Now, you have to spend at least $20 for each piece of the damn suit. What the hell? They say it's "mix and match" But how is this idea possible at the Old Navy store? When you walk in, all of the bottoms specifically match only one of the tops displayed. "Mix and Match" implies that almost all of the tops could be MATCHED to all of the bottoms making a customized suit to fit the needs of many. That idea almost sounds worth spending $20 for each piece. Instead, some schmuck is spending $20 for each piece when 5 years ago, the top would be on the same hanger as the panty with one price tag for $20. Next there'll be a cover charge just to walk into the store and people will pay it b/c they're morons. Now I'm really looking forward to the kid being 13 in 10 years....