Tuesday, September 30

what a mess

what more can i say?

Monday, September 29

The Sarah Palin Answer Generator

Go ahead--ask her a question.

monday...... blech.

Saturday, September 27

Program notes

For those of you who love living legends: Pete Seeger will be on Letterman Monday.
11:30 on CBS.

Note to Verbie: Lucinda Williams will be on October 2

Paul Newman

Legendary actor Paul Newman has died.
As well as a fine actor, he was a humanitarian and donated multi millions of dollars to charities, including his Hole-in-the-Wall camps for children with terminal illnesses. There are Newman Hole-in-the-Wall camps in many different countries now. His goodness has spread around the world. There was an excellent feature story about him in the recent Vanity Fair magazine.

Other celebrities and wealthy people should take a page, or several pages, from Paul's book.

He loved his wife, his children, acting, directing, race car driving and beer.

What a guy
saturday. ahhhhh

Friday, September 26

The Debate

What I learned:

1. Obama kept getting this speck of white spit on his lower lip. It was disconcerting.

2. McCain said he differs from Bush (no way) and that he idolized Reagan (blech.)

3. Obama will tax the rich and give tax cuts to the middle class.

4. McCain will tax the middle class and give tax cuts to the rich.

5. McCain says he has experience, intellect and judgment which Obama doesn't have.

6. Obama says that he has intellect, judgment and is ready to lead.

7. McCain says that he will increase off shore drilling to cut our dependence on foreign oil.

8. Obama says he will invest in solar, wind and nuclear energy to cut our dependence on foreign oil.

9. Obama says this economic crisis is the worst since 1929.

10. McCain says this economic crisis is the worst since 1929--and he should know because he was there, wearing a flapper dress and drinking bootleg whiskey.

Brit speak

Why is it that when Brits say naughty words suck as fuck it still sounds genteel? Example; I was at the Hollywood Bowl to see Eric Idle and at the end of his show there are some fireworks. He told the people sitting in the prime seats at the very front they had to move so as not to be set on fire. (Actually what he told them was "all of you rich people in the best seats have to move" or something to that effect). But apparently not all of them believed him because he looks down and there are still some sitting there. So he says "no really, fuck off" and of course all the rest of us laugh, but what I loved was that it didn't sound coarse, like if an American had said it, it wasn't as offensive. I just find it so amusing when I hear Brits say bad words. Is it just me?
And on another note, Alex, if I move to England can I come stay with you? Our country is going down like the Titantic...

Thursday, September 25

What goes first?

With the eminent demise of the US economy as we know it, what will be the first thing you sell on eBay to get money so you can feed your family?

Insert your own financial disaster

This is the best financial advice I've heard all week:

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95. With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

the greater depression

i just heard on tv that if something isn't done soon,per sarah palin and oldman mccain, but i am not sure cause i never know what the hell he is talking about, that we may be in a depression by monday. mccain wants to postpone the debate. i bet the folks who have footed the 4.5 million dollar bill for that are real happy.

mccain does NOT have a fucking clue.

looks like hamburgers might be a luxury soon.
i am glad i didn't go on the diet like i was going to. i might need some of this body fat to survive.


The Crazy Adventures of Wassup Holmes

Wednesday, September 24

Help please

Maddie has a project for her makeup class. She needs to find two recognizable full front faces pre-1950 that she can make her own face look like. I think I know her too well. I am having trouble coming up with people that look similar to her. So far I have Olivia De Haviland and nothing else


Tuesday, September 23

"Grandpa, What's For Supper?"

Remember that old bit from Hee-Haw?

Anyway, for supper tonight I had a Caesar salad, and potato chips with French Onion dip. What did you have?

Monday, September 22

take 2 advil and get bent

I went to the nurologist for my hand gimpy issue. I was pushy when I'm usually laid back because the pain is now radiating from my middle right finger all the way down my arm through my elbow to my shoulder all the way down my spine to my lower back. I can't hold my daughter for more than 15 minutes and sometimes when I pick her up, I have to put her down so I don't drop her. I expected some compassion from this man. I sat in the exam room long enough to catch up on celebrity gossip from last June that I don't really care about. After an hour, I heard a man and a woman stand outside the door talking about my issue and deciding what to do about it. I became snippy soon after because I dislike doctors talking about how to fix my problem when they haven't even seen me, talked to me, or been given any of my paperwork to read. So when he came in I said to him, "Look, you don't know me, but I had a c-section last year and not only was I ready to get up and walk the same day, but I didn't take the pain medication they gave me beyond tylenol. These past weeks have been the most painful of my life. I've been taking prescription pain medication just to scrape by. I need help." Damn if that fucker didn't write me off and tell me to take advil after ordering a bunch of tests. If 9 extra strength rapid release tylenols don't help, wtf will 2 advil do?

Palin's town charged women for rape exams


Im sorry I have no class

I never drink Baileys!!!!

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink.

The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The Bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

A salt shaker,
A shot of Baileys,
A shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue,
Next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.'
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue........salty but OK.

He drinks the shot of Baileys and holds it in his mouth........smooth,
Rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks........this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits....

At two seconds the Baileys curdles.....

At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like
consistency hits.....

At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, Jesus what do you call that drink?'

She smiles widely at him and says, 'Blow Job Revenge.'

The Emmys

What was good about last night's Emmys:
1. Tina Fey winning best actress in a comedy and best writing, and 30 Rock winning best Comedy.
2. Ricky Gervais having fun with Steve Carell taking his Emmy last year.
3. Tommy Smothers accepting a writing Emmy for the 1968 Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour

What was awful about the Emmys: EVERYTHING ELSE.

This awards show was the absolute WORST I have ever see. Among the low of the lowlights:
1. The awful five cohosts: Bob Bergeron, Howie Mandell, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst and Ryan Seacrest. Whose idea was that and when ill they be fired?
2. The awful "tribute" to Laugh-In. I was embarassed for the wonderful Lily Tomlin having to participate in that mess.
3. The awful 60-show theme song tribute by Josh Grobin. Poor Josh did his best with that mess.
4. Worst presenter pairing of the night: David Boreanz of Bones with that why-is-she-famous Lauren Conrad. He looked like he's rather be having dental work done.
5. Diva-of-the-night: Glenn Close dismissing America Ferrera who tried to give Close her Emmy and Close said, "hold it for me will you" while she gave her speech. Hold it your damned self.
6. Queen of tv Oprah (or Opfah as Big Al calls her) introducing the show. Oprah, you're not the best thing since sliced bread girl, no matter what Gayle might tell you.

Awful, awful, awful

Sunday, September 21

Another question--Favorite Gifts

I know I've been boring you to death with my mommy stories, I can't help it. I'm on my period and my baby isn't going to be a baby much longer, so my hormones are beating me up. Anyway, what's the best gift someone you've been in a relationship with gave you?

Today my guy surprised me with a gift for (as he called it) the anniversary of me being a mom. He secretly took videos of the baby for the past year and then compiled highlights into a 10 min video. Of all the stuff he's bought me over the years, this is by far the best thing ever. He isn't creative in the least and can only make things using computer code, so I was so shocked and awed by it. Right at this second, he's sitting next to me making a similar video of the birthday party to share. If I ever get any on youtube, I'll share it.

Saturday, September 20

from the bbc

Mr Hagel also criticised the McCain campaign for its suggestion that the proximity of Alaska to Russia gave Mrs Palin foreign policy experience.
"I think they ought to be just honest about it and stop the nonsense about, 'I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia'," he said.
"That kind of thing is insulting to the American people."


Yay Chuck Hagel. I can see my car engine--doesn't make me a mechanic.

Question for Verbie

If your bra creaks is it the wrong size?

Friday, September 19


If you have children (knowing any counts as does answering for yourself), what was their first word?

I ask this because my daughter graced us with her first word the other day (which I missed!) and now we're in an argument about what her first word actually was. Mandolin told my guy "NO!" twice the other day when she iddn't get her way and said it yesterday to her godmother for the same reason. However, the day before that, she started meowing to the cats and then crawled around after them trying to engage in some sort of interaction with them (they hate her, so I guess she's trying to make nice.)

I'm firm in my beliefe that "meow" counts as a word, while my guys says "no way, she said no and so "no" it is." Today she started barking at/with the daycare woman's pug puppy, so I think that should count too as I looked up "Meow" and "Bark" and they're onomatopoeias.

Hey ladies

How do I add in links to blogs I read on my personal blog? For some reason I can't figure it out :p

Surgeon's visit

Well I just saw my surgeon yesterday for my one year check up and I am currently NED (no evidence of disease for all you lay people) :) I am going to have my chemo port out next month since everything looks good and I am going to ask my regular doc for a referral to a plastic surgeon to talk about reconstruction. Yay!

Where in the World is Clank?

Clanky, where are you and why haven't you updated your blog? Did you go out and get one of those "lives" thingies?

Play along

1. You have $10,000 to travel with. Where would you go and what would you do?

2. You have a choice between getting an expensive head-to-toe makeover with an expert fashion consultation, or getting one of the rooms in your house a redo. Which one would you choose and why?

3. New computer or new television?

4. You're given a new car. What would it be? If possible, post a link o a picture so we can all see.

5. You can have dinner with any living writer (because a dead writer wouldn't be so conversationally stimulating.) What writer would you choose and where would you go?

Thursday, September 18

Sorry Alex, but I had to

A Spanish asked McCain if he'd be willing to meet with the Spanish president if elected, and he replied something like he'd be willing to meet to any leader who counts as an ally, and then named the mexican president as a possibility. Now I'll opently admit that off the top of my head I don't know who the President of Spain is, nor do I really need to, but I'm not running for president based off my experience with foreign governments either. However, if the woman asked me about Spain, I wouldn't respond about Mexico. When someone asks about France, I don't start talking about Canada. She kept on asking him, and he never once did he answer her. He seemed confused to me.

In other news, the baby said her first word last night and I missed it : (


Can you invite me to read your blog? :) My blogger is jeanmarie1921@yahoo.com.


Things are a bit quiet around here. Is everyone busy looking at their financial portfolio? My advice, don't look!!!!
I have been busy attending to spideydaughter. If you are bored, you could always go to my blog and take a look at her giagantnormous tonsils before they were removed. make sure you aren't eating before you look.
So what is new with you?

Sunday, September 14

I told you Tina Fey is a genuis

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin & Amy Poelher as Hilly.

They didn't post the whole bit :( it was hilarious
"Palin" goes on to say that she shouldn't have to put up with being called a MILF . . .



Saturday, September 13

Equal Time

From the mouth of David Letterman:

1. Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years.

2. I like John McCain. He looks like the guy who turns his business over to his son but still shows up once a week.


I recommend you all read the new Rolling Stone. It's all about comedy--Letterman, Chris Rock, Tina Fey, Amy Poelher, Don Rickles, Robin Williams, Sarah Silverman, Phyllis Diller.

Great stuff

Friday, September 12


Is dead Allan wanted ded to tell but I begged to be allowed and he said I could so now I have. he thinks we should allow the inane fuckwit to post on here too I said fuck off

Thursday, September 11

Fall season

I know this isn't as important as politics or cats, but anyone planning to watch Survivor or The Amazing Race this Fall?
I can't wait for the new season of The Office and 30 Rock.

What show are you waiting to come back?

Wednesday, September 10

Murf Speaks!

I guess I have to have a blog on here, so here goes:
I KNOW McCain is old. What? You were all gonna vote for him if he was nearer in age to Obama? I didn't think so. And I wouldn't vote for Obama no matter old HE was (or is) either.
Aren't you all worried that Obama has been in the Senate for what...ten minutes? You probably aren't. If McCain had just gotten there though, you'd all have PLENTY to say.
We have a guy running for the state legislature here and he's pro-life as any Republican has to be around here. He asked if he could put a sign in my yard. I told him he'd have to be pro-choice for me to permit that. He skipped off to the next house.
I hear Sarah Palin's glasses are now all the rage. I think she should call 1955 as they want their glasses back. I run into her type all the time in my Republican travels. They always tell me that God loves me. I don't bother to tell them that I think we are all masssive computer programs controlled by beings superior to us, but that much more superior. That would probably make those right-wingers faint if I said that.
And does anybody watch Bridezilla's on the We channel? I love Bridezillas. The Bridezillas mainly moan and groan when any attention leaves them. I can understand that as no one will probably ever pay that much attention to them after their wedding. Some Bridezillas are worse than others though. One of them said f--- every other word, it seems. She listed her occupation as "Nanny". Yiiiiiiiiiiikes!
And I always watch "Platinum Weddings" after Bridezillas. Those are the weddings where the average budget for the wedding is 700,000. And these Platinum brides always have designer gowns that they always model for their mothers (or whomever the Bride chooses for the viewing). And almost every time, after viewing the gown, I yell at the screen--"TAKE IT BACK, YOU PAID TOO MUCH FOR THIS DISASTER!" But the mothers ooh and ah and tell the bride how beautiful the Bride looks. No, they don't. But as usual, nobody listens to me.
Hence, you are all voting for that guy from Chicago.
I like to stick out in a crowd. Those Bridezillas should take a tip from me if they want that much attention. Have opposing views!

Tuesday, September 9

glass houses

In one of my classes we have a girl who has trisomy 21 (known commonly as Down Syndrome). She is sweet, and has yet to act out in inappropriate ways in our class (mostly because she likes me). Her parents are in strong denial about her abilities and swear that she's going to go to a 4 year college and get a degree, and if asked, state that it's Harvard. Anyway, today some of our "normal" children went nuts and had a rather large fight, once i got that cleaned up, i found her on the other side of the room crying hysterically. It had nothing to do with the fight, but the fight didn't help. I took her out to find out what was going on, and on the way out, I noticed several students fake crying at her and making fun of her.

I pushed it off to the side and dealt with her problem and we went back to class. When we came back, the same students started in on her right away. I took a deep breath and decided to make some calls later. She is mentally retarded, everyone can see that, but she is still human, has rights and feelings and knows they'remaking fun of her, and it doesn't hurt any less because she is m.r. After school I sat and thought about how my mom would have reacted if she'd gotten a call saying that I was picking on mentally retarded kids for kicks. I think the response would have been to a) beat me until i was retarded or b) sign me up as a volunteer working with m.r. kids every free second i had until i got over myself after somehow making me wish my life was over via some elaborate show in front of all my peers. I get my evil petty streak from her.

So I've been sitting here, pondering what to say to these kids. If i had my way I'd say:
"I feel so bad for you, that you are so small you feel good making someone who is profoundly disabeled cry. That seems to be the only way that you yourself can feel important. That's a pretty low place to be, and I hope that you can work your way out of there, or you learn to keep it to yourself because the rest of us don't need it and no one deserves it."

Now I can't say that, we're only allowed to use PC crap to deal with issues like this. Since I'm unsure what else to say to them, once I get started, i'll probably go off the deep end, I've asked someone else to come in and do it. I plan for it to happen after my co-teacher and I let it be known how ashamed of them we are in general. My co-teacher is a nice person, but this is her first year out and i'm still potty training her, and if i'm afraid to say the wrong thing, it's a sure bet she would.

Monday, September 8

And now for something completely different:

Check out this guy's amazing work with paper and glue:

What questions are you asking yourself these days?

I am completely zen again

Had a talk with the guy yesterday at lunch, found out he has been also seeing someone else, and since we never actually said we were exclusive I'm not hurt by that. I did tell him that I will most likely not keep seeing him if he's seeing someone else because that's not what I want. He said he understood and that he would think about it this week and maybe we could have dinner on Friday before I fly out to Tahoe on Saturday. Now that I know what's going on I feel totally fine. If it ends because he wants to date other women that's ok and if he decides to just see me that's ok too. I realize it's just the uncertainty that gets me; knowing something isn't quite right but not knowing what it is. Now I know and I'm good to go, either way. :)

Saturday, September 6

Question of the day

Since you've become an adult, what's something you do every Saturday without fail (unless you're away on vacation or something like that)

Me: I do laundry

Friday, September 5


The message from minnesota and old man mccain didn't do a damn thing to impress me.
palin and mccain are going to be in wisconsin today. big f'ing deal. mccain said he can't wait to
introduce palin to washington. those two are irritating the sh*t out of me.

as my son told me last night... he doesn't earn enough to be a republican.

Thursday, September 4

More politics

interesting take on Palin



Ok, all of you wonderful wise women, please read my recent post on my personal blog and give me your insights, suggestions, advice. I'm a basket case and need your help :(


Will all you people talk about after the election?

Wednesday, September 3

coming Palin scandal? (apologies, Mum)

This was posted today on my sports board:

Coming soon, the National Enquirer will publish a story about an affair including Palin and her husband's business partner.  The McCain camp has already issued a statement about it, and the National Enquirer responds as follows:

"The National Enquirer's coverage of a vicious war within Sarah Palin's extended family includes several newsworthy revelations, including the resulting incredible charge of an affair plus details of family strife when the Governor's daughter revealed her pregnancy.  Following our John Edwards exclusives, our political reporting has obviously proven to be more detail-oriented than the McCain campaign's vetting process.  Despite the McCain camp's attempts to control press coverage they find unfavorable, The Enquirer will continue to pursue news on both sides of the political spectrum."

So, if it's true, and of course that's a big if, why would you accept McCain's offer with a skeleton THAT big in your closet?

Tuesday, September 2

Monday, September 1

More Politics

It's now confirmed that Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter is unwed and pregnant.

The Repubs are a party of "Family Values"--who can forgot ole Dan Quayle going after fictional character Murphy Brown for having an out-of-wedlock son?
They don't want sex education in schools.
They don't want to hand out condoms in High Schools.
They don't want to fund Planned Parenthood.
They don't want women to have control over their own reproductive organs ("Keep your hands off of my uterus!")

How long will it take before the Repubs put a positive spin on this tempest in a teapot--"at least she's having the baby!" "She'll marry the dad!" "She won't KILL THE FETUS by having an abortion!"
How long? About 12 hours as I see it.
Personally, I think she should give up the baby for adopton--I'm sure Brangelina will take the poor tyke in.

For Ms Grumpy Sidebottom

Well, I can't talk about cat's period's because luckily Monkee does not have any but I can tell you that she's been bugging the crap out of me since I got back home. She's been complaining and actually biting me for a day now. See what you are missing Alex? :)