Friday, February 27

something for the old broards.

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE, and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries, but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option, even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked. Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front step, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

Cash and WHAT?

3 held in sale of children: Cash, cockatoo part of alleged deal for boy, 5, girl, 4

(I should note that the article says the couple with the kids were arrested at "a McDonald’s restaurant in Eunice." Trust me, there is only ONE McDonald's restaurant in Eunice.)

Wednesday, February 25

Dumb Question

This might be a dumb question, but I want to know. In the past three weeks, three of my friends and a cousin have all sent me emails to "Check out my new Facebook page" Do I have to have an account? I don't want another account, but would like to see their pictures and stuff.

Monday, February 23

the oscars

while i didn't watch most of it, i did see the recap this morning. and i did see heath ledgers presentation, which was sad and touching.
i want to see slumdog millionaire. have you seen it?

Saturday, February 21

Arrest close

Remember Chandra Levy and the creepy Gary Condit?

Thursday, February 19

chimp gone crazy

I am sure most of you have heard about the chimp that went crazy and tried to kill the owners neighbor.
that in itself is bad enough. but what really creeps me out is the facts coming out that the woman who owned the chimp bathed with him, slept with him and had him brushing her hair. just what the hell was going on there?

jeezus, this world is seriously f'd up.

Wednesday, February 18


yeah danny! my milwaukee boy. :)

goodbye whackjob tatiana. jeez, what a nut.

Here's one to make you feel old

Molly Ringwald of one of my favorite teen flicks Sixteen Candles is 41 today.
Happy Birthday Molly

Monday, February 16

more on OctoMom

I read Octo's story in People magazine. This woman tried to get pregnant as far back as high school...she had three miscarriages. Did you know all of the 8's middle names is "Angel"?
She gets $30 in food stamps, two of the older kids go to a private Christian school and three of the first six have soome sort of disabilities.

She had some psycho experiences after her first child was born--she had a weird fear that he'd be kidnapped and that his life was in danger.

She says she's going back to college this fall to get her master's. WTF is she kidding? Time for classes with 14 children? Oy.

Saturday, February 14

this just in

malcolm young was reported jumping off of a cliff, rather than spend valentines day with a lunatic fan with a limp who was galloping towards him.


Happy Valentine's Day

If you could spend Valentine's Day with anyone in the world (and you cannot pick your spouse or significant other or child for this fantasy exercise) who would it be and what would you do?

I would pick old Bob Dylan, on the beach at Malibu with a butler & chef to satisfy our every whim.

Friday, February 13



According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States are affected by a fear of this day. Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed. "It's been estimated that [US]$800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day".[5] Despite this, representatives for both Delta and Continental Airlines say that their airlines don't suffer from any noticeable drop in travel on those Fridays.[13]

Are you afraid???????

Thursday, February 12


i updated my blog a few days ago and the blogroll doesn't show it as updated. any ideas why?


help please

Several months ago we switched cable providers which also switched our outlook email. My husband thinks he saved all my email from the previous address.
I tried to search for it by putting*email*.* onto the search line. No luck. Any of you Dudettes have suggestions? Are the old emails lost forever?

Tuesday, February 10

Right place at the right time

So I'm taking a geography class once a week to add a social studies teaching certificate. A friend of mine is taking the class with me, so it isn't so bad. Next to the prof, i'm the most educated person in the room. This is actually an important fact. The prof is from england and she doesn't have the lovely BBC America accent, she's for the Eastenders accent and talks really fast. She's been in america for 14 months and knows next to nothing about US history or geography, this is important too. Anyway, she loves to ask random questions and last week she asked which country was discovered in the 1600's. I said America (remember that big party the state of VA had with the queen stopping by?) Anyway, another woman in the class looked at me and said in a snotty 'I know more than you' voice "No, America was discovered in 1776." It took ALL I had to be polite. It was even better when the prof fired back with "Columbs was in 1567" Someone else in the class became twitchy and saif "No, the rhyme says it's 1492." I then pointed out that Colmbus never set foot in America and really landed in the Bahamas and America wasn't named after Amerigo Vespucci but Richard Ameryk. I'm not overly worried about the prof's error, she's been here a hot minute and probably never learned or cared about the geography or history of the US until she got here. I'm more worried about the student because this week she was really confused as to why she couldn't find chile on the map when she was looking at Africa. But again, I just shut my mouth and was happy that she's in the right class.

Monday, February 9

Nadya Suleman's face

Nadya has the bashed-in nose and oddly bloated lips of a plastic surgery addict.  I think there's a lot going on here, and none of it is good.

Good news for sinners:

Got a sin?  Buy an indulgence!  (Ok, ok, technically they aren't for sale.  Yet.  But "charitable contributions" go a long way,  apparently!)

Sunday, February 8

For those who care

Grammys update
The first person who is clearly high: Whitney Houston. That gal is a hot mess.

This is fun, Well I thought it was

Play with a spider

Saturday, February 7

It's all in a name

I'm sorry, But I have no idea how to do an extended entry. I'm sure someone will fix it for me.
Try this with your names.


Michelle Lynne Koch

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)

Elsie None

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)

Ed Vane

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)Kocmi

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)

Orange Dolphin

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)

Lynne Bethlehem

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)

The Red Mudslide

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)


9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)

Vanilla Bean Cutout

10.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name, current street name)

Ed Lahr

11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)

Ginger Broad

12.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)


13.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)

Black Toby

14. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)

Happy Chocolate

fantastic products?

Although I still love my Burts Bees products, I found some fantastic hand creme. My hands and arms were just so flaky and dry this winter. Anyway . . .

It's Olivella Hand Cream (Ideal for Dry & Chapped Skin) It's made with olive and fruit oils, lavender and citrus oils and it smells nice. It's pricey--$10 for 2.54 ounces, but my scaly skin is worth it!

Have you run across some fantastic product you'd like to share with us?

Friday, February 6

T Mobile Advert 2009 Full Version HQ

this is the t mobile advert I thought it might make you smile

Thursday, February 5

Well dammit

I removed my post because after fooling around with it for an hour, I still couldn't get my link to work.  

Too bad.  It was damned funny.
I just got word that one Bobsurauntom wants to be a part of our blog. I don't know this person.

Wednesday, February 4

Gervais is brilliant

On his Web site, comedian Ricky Gervais wrote an open letter President Barack Obama to congratulate him on his historic win — and also address a concern.
According to Gervais, a member of the President’s “flock has strayed.” He referred to the fact that Paris Hilton has bought a house a few miles away from him, in North London, and “is out and about integrating herself with the Great British public.”
“Mr. President. We are not stupid,” Gervais blogged. “This is clearly a retaliatory strike for Posh Spice moving to L.A. I know it, and you know it, so let’s cut the ‘it’s a free country’ nonsense and come to some agreement.”
In his letter, Gervais suggested an exchange.
“This is how it would work,” he wrote ignoring grammar and punctuation rules. “We call them both and tell them that we’ve found a giant ‘paparazzi nest,’ in New York say. (halfway home for both of them already). At first they may be confused that they’d never heard of such a thing before, but the thought of that many photographers in one place will be irresistible.
“Once we get them there, while they are having their photos taken (we will have [to] hire a few guys with cameras make it look good) we will swap their limos around. It’s fool proof,” he added.
He concluded the letter with, “Have your people call my people. They may have to call a few times as my people are useless to be honest.”

Monday, February 2

snow storm

Mum? are you buried in snow??

Sunday, February 1

For Emma "Oh the Horror, the Desecration"

Customs finds snakes in Garden Gnomes

Two things

1. Happy February!!!

2. Happy one-day late Birthday To Mems!!!!!!! Long may she live!