on my mom's side i have about 35 first cousins, probably more than that, but there are several people i refuse to talk to. one of the males that i like is getting married soon (to a stripper fyi). i said i'd go to the wedding and then persued the gift registry and made a list of what i'd be willing to buy (for white trash, they sure have high ideas of what people should spend on them, why do they need a $200 coffeemaker?).
Today in my mail was an invite to a bridal shower for the bride. Every family bridal shower i've been to has been an occasion to tease the bride and we usually buy gag gifts. for example, one of my sisters is a slob and for her shower, we all bought her cleaning supplies and a kinky french maid's outfit to go with. She also got the standard sex toys etc. However, even though this bride is a stripper (and is VERY pregnant, and yes she's STILL stripping) she asked us all to get her items off the registry, not gag gifts or sex toys/lingerie for the shower as we usually do.
I sat and had a thought and then became miffed. Shouldn't she just be happy that my kin are willing to spend money on her at all at a time when people who were poor at the best of times are really really poor now? I talked to one of my sisters and I decided that If i go to the shower and don't take a gift for the greedy bitch then i'm cheap and if i go to the wedding without a gift, then i'm still cheap. However, i don't like being dictated to about what i will and will not bring someone else or that some newbie can step up and try and change family tradition like that.
6 comments:
I say go and get her whatever you feel like getting.
get her a new g-string with a few damp singles glued to it
well i am going to say this, and it might not be what you want to hear, but i know you are a reasonable person, and have no trouble having an opinion and receiving one from your friends.
since times are tough and money is scarce, why doesn't everyone chip in the 20 bucks or so that they would spend on a gag gift, that won't be looked at again after the shower, and buy her the $200 coffee maker. that way, she(the bride)gets what she wants and no one dishes out money on a gag gift that will be useless. even white trash like nice things.
I like Schell and Spidey's ideas; either get her what you normally would, or go together and get one big item. I personally like folks having a registry to pick a gift from but I don't feel bound to it. I would NOT go to either a shower or the wedding without a gift. Regrets without a gift attached also works for one or both functions. I wouldn't let this get my goat. Bridal showers and weddings are about the bride more than anyone else, even if it does rub you the wrong way. The bride should be gracious, but so should the attendees in respecting her wishes. I know you were just venting. (along other lines of decorum, I rec'd a graduation announcement from the son of a cousin. Ok, we aren't close, but fine, they have never had much. However, it was addressed to me by my cousin, not her son who is the actual graduate. When did parents take over this duty? No, it didn't bug me enough not to recognize him with some cash, but it reminded me of an adult trick or treating for their kid.)
i guess my beef is EVERYTHING on her registry is at least $100 and she wants a gift off the registry for the wedding AND the shower when we don't do that in our family. why is she so special?
instead of being a bitch, i'll just skip the shower and take a reasonable (by my standards) gift to the wedding.
Jilly
In my opinion, it is the epitome of tacky for anyone to assume that they will get a gift let alone to try to dictate what that should be.
If it were me and I still wanted to go to the shower, I would get whatever I wanted -- gag gift, sex toy, whatever.
I also like the option of a registry for a wedding -- makes things easy and guarantees that they'll get something that they want -- but I've never felt bound to it and the bride and groom shouldn't make people feel that way.
Also, since when does the bride have any say over the bridal shower? The bridal shower is supposed to be thrown by a non family member and the bride shouldn't be involved in it at all.
Maybe for her, since she's a stripper, your family is well-off (everything is relative) and she thinks she's marrying up and that you all can afford all that?
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