scottish romance

Scottish Romance

Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the
lonely-hearts column.


Grossly ov erweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks
nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit
dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be
willing to travel. Box 09/08

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
Box06/03

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested
in beer, cigarettes, Celtic football club and starting scraps on
Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82 .

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fiancée
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in
this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a
few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more
Box 84/87

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes,
seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce
along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential. Box 12/32

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social
functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the
arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big
chest. Box 40/27

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs
in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
Box 52/07

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition
at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic
man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and
listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the
night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm