Ok, I'm a dork but...

How do I delete a comment on my blog? :)

2009

HERE WE COME.


good luck to us all.

Dinner with Bert, Verbie, Jilly & her hubby

Well, I'm going to be the first to get in a new post about dinner tonight. It was a lot of fun, I swear, poor Bert & Jilly's guy could barely get a word in edgewise! We talked and laughed and ate really good Mexican food, yum. The only bad part of the evening was that Verbie is a bully and payed for all of our dinners! :) Thanks for a lovely evening everyone, it was definitely worth the drive!

Meeting w/Jilly

Hey all, I am trying to find out when we are supposed to meet up with Jilly. I am available for dinner tomorrow (Monday) night if that works for others.

Who knew Condi was a drinker

(CNN) -- Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said that despite President Bush's low approval ratings, people will soon "start to thank this president for what he's done."
So we can sit here and talk about the long record, but what I would say to you is that this president has faced tougher circumstances than perhaps at any time since the end of World War II, and he has delivered policies that are going to stand the test of time," Rice said in an interview that aired on CBS' "Sunday Morning."
The secretary of state brushed off reports that suggest the United States' image is suffering abroad. She praised the administration's ability to change the conversation in the Middle East.
"This isn't a popularity contest. I'm sorry, it isn't. What the administration is responsible to do is to make good choices about Americans' interests and values in the long run -- not for today's headlines, but for history's judgment," she said.
"And I am quite certain that when the final chapters are written and it's clear that Saddam Hussein's Iraq is gone in favor of an Iraq that is favorable to the future of the Middle East; when the history is written of a U.S.-China relationship that is better than it's ever been; an India relationship that is deeper and better than it's ever been; a relationship with Brazil and other countries of the left of Latin America, better than it's ever been ...
"When one looks at what we've been able to do in terms of changing the conversation in the Middle East about democracy and values, this administration will be judged well, and I'll wait for history's judgment and not today's headlines."

Trip

Last night, after 19 hours of travel I got to the Hilton in Anaheim. In a bit I will call Bert to amass the CA shelfers and then pass out. I hope you all had a great Christmas holiday and have wonderful New Year's celebrations. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back on the Internet, so don't be shocked if this is it from me for a few days.

Love,
Jilly

This reminded me of Tree

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/27/movie.shooting/index.html

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EMMA ON 12/27

SO SOMEONE HERE HAS A BIRTHDAY TOMORROW. AND THAT SOMEONE IS EMMA!!!!!!!!! AND IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE SURE THERE IS SUFFICIENT TIME FOR ALL TO WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY...... HERE IS YOUR CHANCE.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!!!!!!

Hail to the Chief

happy holiday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC9ftIE8XRQ

idiot

so i was reading the shelf site and i got annoyed, as usual, but this time i said something. i made the mistake of pointing out that someone was a hypocrite and then one of the crazies said something back and now i've responded to that. you'd think that i would have learned to tune out the crazies, but every so often, i have a bain fart and hit "reply." I also feel that both of my posts made good points, as if that matters. maybe i just need to stop going there in the new year?

Merry Christmas eve eve

Although I'm hardly into Christmas this year,
it's not too late to give to
www.heifer.org

What freaking thing have you seen today?

I went grocery shopping today.
1. On the way to Meijer I saw a man on his riding lawn mower cutting grass despite the fact that a) it's December and b) there's a dusting of snow on the ground.
2. In Meijer I saw a man (different man) open the Doggie treat bin (where you can buy dog treats in bulk), take out a dog biscuit and pop it into his mouth.

Have you noticed freaky things today?

you can't help but get into the spirit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omUeTLJH0Yk

If you haven't already done it

DON'T MISS Lori's TV appearance!  (Click her link to the right)  Lori, you are a natural in front of the camera!  You were calm, articulate, self-assured and seemed totally relaxed in front of the camera.  Your house looked great, too.  I am just very, very impressed.

(But I don't think your cat is quite ready to become a star....)

Thanks

I don't get many thanks, and I'm okay with that. I get a lot of whining, cussing, shouting, moaning and general complaining, but I don't get a lot of "thank yous." Yesterday a student gave me a hand-made thank you card, and it made my week. It was a folded sheet of notebook paper with a badly spelled sentiment giving thanks for tutoring a student after school. He said something about being grateful for me giving him time over my baby. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever made for me.

Ok, don't laugh but...

I am trying to find the Today sponge or another contraceptive like this and I swear, I can't find it anywhere around here or online. I can't use hormonal birth control anymore and I'd like to have an option other than condoms, so if you know of a place either online or otherwise that sells them, please let me know. Thanks gals! (and Ded) :)

Gov Blago

While watching a news story on Illinois Gov. Blago_____ this blurb scrolled across the bottom of the station "Gov. Blago_____ has a 4% approval rating."

Who are these four percent?? Luddites who don't watch TV or read the news??

Sunday news

Dubya isn't even clever when shoes get thrown at him.
A little over a month to go.

In other news: It was news when Obama took his two girls to pick out a Christmas tree.

A Christmas Debate

Who is your favorite movie Scrooge? I have been having a raging war with the 8th grade English teacher who feels that George C. Scott is the definitive Scrooge, while I feel that Alastair Sim is the one and only. One person at school has weighed in with Patrick Stewart, but both John and I feel that his is a second rate classic although the production is good.

I also really love Lionel Barrymore's radio interpretation of A Christmas Carol too
and as a side note Bill Murray was pretty good in Scrooged too.

Christmasville for Spidey

http://www.games.com/game/christmasville/

You have to play as a guest.

in case the other christmas greeting didn't put you in the mood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SnDeA1sDdo

enjoy :)

Merry Christmas

What would you do?

So this morning I'm on my way to work, driving up Tujunga Cyn Blvd, which is a little windy and people drive pretty fast on it. After one curve there's a spot where some people have to completely stop to make a left turn into a convalescent home parking lot. The street is only one lane each way so that stops all traffic going that direction until it's clear. I saw that a truck was stopping there and figured they were turning so I started slowing down also. The car right behind the truck also slowed down. The car behind them (and right in front of me) did not and rear ended the woman in the 2nd car. I stopped in time so it was just the two of them I think. So the woman who was hit pulls to the right to get out of the way and the car that hit her pulls around her to pull over also, right? Wrong! He fricken' takes off! And I'm like, no way, that's BS, so what do I do, I go after him. But he obviously knew I was following him because he is zooming along, I have to go thru a yellow light and then he goes into a residential area and I ended up losing him. Totally sucks :( I wasn't trying to get him to stop, I just wanted to get his lic plate number but I never got close enough. When I went back the woman was gone also, so I guess it's a moot point, but still, my question is, what would you have done in that situation?

CK

Do you think Caroline Kennedy should be appointed to fill Hilly's seat, should Hilly be appointed Secretary of State? She's a good writer and do-gooder, but I'm on the fence as to her political ambitions.

goodbye

Tonight I had to take my dog for euthenasia. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Brandi was the best dog I'll ever have. She spent 12 years as a seeing eye dog, and then 5 years in retirement with me. 17 is a long life for a lab and I hope I made her last 5 years happy for her. The vet and vet tech who assisted us were wonderful and made the process easier. It feels odd to be sitting here typing and not have her at my feet snoring.

A little humor

Prop 8 - The Musical

How's the weather where you are?

This morning it was icy & slick. Now it's 25 degrees and sunny. Cold, blue skies and sunny.

ThereFlu is a Miracle Drug

While hopped out on theraflu i've written 2 papers, made 2 of the best power point presentations known to man (one on my trip to the AVAM in Baltimore and the other on how European Welfare States effect women's rights) and made an annotated bibliograpgy for the feminist paper (it was extra, i didn't have to do it, now they tell me). I also did 3 assignments for the feminist class while being nice to the raging pack of barbies. Now i only need to finish weaving for the feminists and take a final for the sped class and give my 2 presentations and i can nap. Oh and in between, i've been watching a sick baby, wroking full time, cleaning my house, helping cook for 20 people and making plans to have my dog put to sleep. I really think i'd be dead if it weren't for the apple cinnamon flavored theraflu and aloe kleenex.

what's your miracle drug?

btw i want to look as good as alice walker does when i'm her age. she read "ain't i a woman" and you should go find it on youtube and marvel at her beautiful skin like i did.

off to crash
jilly

She's b-a-a-a-c-k

The pit bull with glasses that is.  Yep, Sara Palin is right here in my state today, stumping for the Republican in the run-off for the Senate seat that will determine whether or not the Democrats will have a filibuster proof majority.

According to the "perceived wisdom", if the Republican wins, Sara will be with us for a long time since it will prove that she's the reason he won-never mind that we've been undated with nasty campaign ads, not to mention visits from Rommney, Rudy, Cheney and Huckabee.  For a real "what the hell?" moment, look up his last race against Max Cleland-a triple amputee from Vietnam who Chambliss (the R. in this race) portrayed as "soft on terrorism" and unpatriotic to boot.  And the people of my state fell for it!  

Keep your fingers crossed that there is a large turnout tomorrow.

It's Hilly's Day!

Secretary of State. How exciting! She'll do a fantastic job!

On another note:

The names "Barack" "Obama" "Michelle" "Malia" and "Sascha"
are whizzing up the Baby Name Charts

For the Not-So-Old Broards (and Ded)

May God bless and keep you always, May your wishes all come true, May you always do for others And let others do for you. May you build a ladder to the stars And climb on every rung, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young. May you grow up to be righteous, May you grow up to be true, May you always know the truth And see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, Stand upright and be strong, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young. May your hands always be busy, May your feet always be swift, May you have a strong foundation When the winds of changes shift. May your heart always be joyful, May your song always be sung, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young.

WalMart Worker Trampled to Death

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27955316/

This is just lunacy.Where is restraint? Where is compassion---an eyewitness said while the man lay on the floor, shoppers just kept stepping on him without offering help.

Walmart, in it's capitalistic goodness closed for "several hours" after the incident, before reopening. Apparently the man's life was only worth a few hours of down time.

Of course these Neanderthal "shoppers" are to blame, but good ole American WalMart (with nearly everything it stocks being not made in America) has the lion's share of the blame. The advertising usually starts on Tuesday or Wednesday-- the big ads declaring "LIMIT 2 per store." Work those shoppers into a frenzy.

I hope those shoppers think of Mr. Jdimytai Damour of Jamaica, Queens when their loved ones are opening those "valuable" Walmart gifts on Christmas Day.

Antibiotics don't cure viruses

I saw this on Telly and thought of emma for some reason, possibly the worst advert for a long time

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I wanted to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope you all enjoy your day with your families and friends! I am going to see Role Models with my friend Karla then we are having Indian food in the Valley and I am giving her her b-day gift cuz her birthday is tomorrow. And my day started off really well because I had company stay over last night and he even brought me flowers :) Happy day to everyone!

A Thanksgiving Tradition: The Turkey Drop Scene from WKRP in Cincinnati

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iafzqOCaxA4&NR=1

Sexist Pig!!!!

According to a news story:

"We might have some clue as to what kind of dog the Obamas are going to get. President-elect Barack Obama revealed during a recent interview he apparently doesn't want a "girly dog" in his White House."

Happy Thanksgiving to you

To you all.
Good food, time spent with friends and family.
Much to be thankful for.

Twilight

I don't get all this buzz and excitement about this movie Twilight. What the heck is it all about?

What are your plans for the Thanksgivng Day holiday?

We are going to my sister's house in Muncie. She asked me to bring yeast rolls, the old stand by green bean casserole, and some appetizers. Anyone have and knock-their-socks-off appetizers?

which one is the turkey?

YouTube - KTUU 2008 Sarah Palin turkey interview this has put me off of eating turkey on thursday. thank you again sarah palin.

is it time to hunker down?

perhaps i should have paid a bit more attention to my grandparents discussion of surviving the great depression. but who would have thought that could happen again. i guess we should not have been so foolish.
there is one bright spot in my opinion. and that is that we will stop being so wasteful. we will appreciate what we do have. there won't be as much trash in the landfills. i guess that is more than one bright spot.

i have been reading some stories from the older generation, and their experiences during the great depression. they speak of closing off the entire house in the winter except for the kitchen and living room and all huddling together to stay warm at night. entire families moving into one house and surviving together. eating johnnycakes to fill the hunger in their stomachs. standing in long bread lines. getting an orange for christmas was the best treat ever.

i guess we might have to really toughen up.

Seven million

spidey's favorite girl can now pay the republicans back for all the ugly clothing she bilked out of them. Let's hope she'll go away after the book tour and that'll be the end of it.

jilly

Big 3

Some lawmakers lashed out at the CEOs of the Big Three auto companies today for flying private jets to Washington to request taxpayer bailout money. "It's almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in high hat and tuxedo," one lawmaker said.

----


aint that the truth

So THIS is where the cool people went!

I had been hearing rumors, after anotherbookshelf.com started up, that various Bookshelf peoples had started an alternative weblog, but I didn't know where it was.

I am gratified and honored that Emma has graciously allowed me to be part of this little band of sisters, and I will do my best to be an adequate Old Broard.

May I ask that my humble weblog, http://www.fromtherecamier.org/, be added to the Blogroll?

HELP!

For some reason, when I came to the site this afternoon, all the blogs had been coverted-at least on my 'puter, to rss feeds.  Is this something I did unknowingly (always possible) or has someone else done it?

How, for the love of god, can I get my "old" blog roll back??  I'm begging you...

Wordsmith

Yes, I know we've talked the Palin thing to death, but I swear, that woman is like a train wreck isn't she? I was looking around the NYT opinion page yesterday and found an op-ed piece by Dick Cavett that y'all need to read. A little help with the clicky would be appreciated (or someone could let me know how to do it)

http://cavett.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/the-wild-wordsmith-of-wasilla/?em

Closet Soap Fans

Time to fess up ladies (and Ded).  Are any of you closet All My Children fans? I quit watching AMC about 6 years ago, but my sister-in-law still faithfully watches and has asked for my help in identifying a song played on Friday's (11-14) show.  Apparently, Jake and Taylor are dancing to a song that starts..."here I am"...then somewhere along it goes."I can see it in your eyes".  I've looked everywhere on the net that I can think of with no luck.

I know all of you are to busy to watch AMC, but if you tape it for viewing later and can identify this song I would be most grateful. I won't tell a soul...promise.

Let's welcome a new old broard to this site:
Kathryn aka Kath aka "not a guy"

We got home--and we still have a home.

Thank God.

Some of our neighbors were not so lucky.  It looks like a war zone here.

I am more grateful than I can say for your good wishes and positive energy.  Maybe you're what saved us.

Has anyone heard from Verb?

I know the fires are pretty bad in that area and I swear the smoke I am smelling outside my place is from the Corona and OC fires because the Sylmar fire smoke is blowing away from me. Do we know if she had to evacuate?

Sunday Funny

www.ajc.com/opinion/content/opinion/luckovich/index.html

If any of you ladies can turn this into a clicky, please be my guest.

Personally, I know just how the turkey feels ;-)

Spidey,
Since your blog is now public, I changed the Blog List so that people can see when you last update.

PS: I liked The Office Thursday. I think Andy Bernard might develop a crush on Oscar! (anyone's better than Angela)

Ha, see how they like this!

So, since they want me to cover my little (about 1 sq inch) tat up with a bandaid, I picked up some today. They are Spongbob Square Pants and about 4 sq inches. That's what I am going to wear on Monday to work. And, they can't say anything because it's a bandaid and that's what they wanted. It's SO much more obnoxious than my tat it's hi-larious.

Also, in answer to your question Jilly, my boss literally told me that HR is held to a higher standard and that's why I have to cover mine even if others aren't being held accountable for theirs. Bullshit I know and that's why I'm fighting this. It's the principle and it's wrong and I'm going to be a huge pain in the ass over it.

We may be about to be evacuated

So what do you take?  We've already assigned who rounds up which cat.

Here's the view from my front yard:

Must be new math

We asked our students yesterday the following:

How many ounces in a pound of butter? How many ounces in a pound of feathers?

Their answers might surprise you.
butter: 7, 10, 15, 5

feathers: 0

We then explained the whole thing to them...a pound is a pound is a pound. A pound of feathers might be bigger than a pound of butter, but they'd weigh the same and have 16 ounces in them. We gave several examples: bowling balls/pillows, men/women, etc. Then we asked them which would weigh more, a pound of steel or a pound of marshmallows....and all but one said the pound of steel.

a good yarn

i've got scarf making down to an almost science. tonight i went to a fancy wool store. i'm not wool snob like some people, i buy what's pretty or what feels nice. this place was mainly for pro knitters, but they had some crochet stuff too. lord, some people pay $40 for knitting needles, give me a break! Some of the yarns were so high end, that I almost peed myself when I saw how much the chasmere yarn I was in love with cost for a skeen. I could buy groceries for a week for how much this yarn for a scarf would cost. Therefore, I put it back before I broke it and had to buy it.

In the end, I bought some lovely mid-priced lamb yarn in pale purple, medium purple, pale peach, medium rose, and chocolate brown. I think these will combine well in a mixed-matched sort of way. I also bought myself a wooden shawl brooch. It's a wooden diamond shape with a diamond shape cut out the center and a wooden pin to go with it. You push your knitted or chroched shawl through the hollow in the diamond and stab the pin through it to hold your shawl or scarf closed. It was just what my scarf needed.

I also found and loved a series of yarns made in India by women learning yarnmaking as a trade to survive because they left abusive spouses. These women also recycle old saris by cuting up the silk and either spinning it into yarn, weaving it into new abstract fabrics, or just selling the shredded cloth to those who make their own yarn or weave it. I think I will buy a hank of this next time i go and make something for myself, maybe a capelette.

Many of the things in the store were organic, fair trade, and supported projects for cancer patients, war orphans and women fleeing abusice relationships all over the world, so some of the high prices were somewhat justified. Not everything int he store was expensive though, some of it was $4.00 a skeen. They had a lot of funky random lacy yarn and sprakley stuff too. The owner offers classes and encourages customers to come in and knit or corchet in her comfy chairs. She participates in the pink scarf project (it's where local breast cancer patients are given hand made knitted goods and hats in the name of her mother, who lost her fight) and the red scarf project, for orphans in college. patrons are asked to make wool hats, scarves and other items to donate to local people in need.

With all of that said, I'm 2 scarves away from my christmas list being done (woohoo!) and if you'd like a scarf, send me the yarn and tell me what you want and i'll make it and send it back.

Jilly

This would be exciting! Hilly would be fantastic!!

Democratic sources tell CNN that President-elect Barack Obama and Sen. Hillary Clinton had a "serious discussion" Thursday to gauge Clinton's interest in the post of secretary of state, if she were offered it. Clinton's response is unknown, although multiple sources agree that she was left with the impression that if she were interested in the post, it would be hers

FYI

hi, for those of you who hesitate to visit my blog cause you have to sign in, i have removed that
option, since i am quite lonely there, and even though you might find me boring, please stop by and say hi. yours truly, spidey

Argh!

Ok, maybe it's just me being obstinate/stubborn/a pain, but this is pissing me off. I work in HR at my company and I know that HR is held to a higher standard. However, when I think of being held to a higher standard I think ethically, by conduct, etc. How is it that I am being harassed for the small tattoo showing on the back of my neck when it only shows because of chemo? When other people have tats showing on their feet, arms, etc just because and nothing gets said to them? This pisses me off because if I hadn't lost my hair it wouldn't show at all, never did before that, but somehow I'm suppposed to stick a bandaid on it or something even though a girl in my office had a big ass tat on her foot showing ALL SUMMER. It is just me, am I being unreasonable? I haven't even trimmed the back of my hair since it's been growing in so that it will be covered ASAP, but it's super curly and it's going to be a few more months before it's covered. Please give me your opinions on this.

cnn... sarah palin.... why????

so you are probably sick of me yapping about sarah palin, but damn if she isn't on the tv everytime i turn it on. tonight i turned on CNN and they were interviewing her and asking her what advice she has for Barack. i threw up a little in my mouth and then listened to her. it was the same old run around crap as usual. she talks but all i hear is yadda yadda blah blah gotcha dontcha know what was the question?

why in the world would he want any advice from her?

why is anyone asking her these questions?

Margaret and Helen

This blog was mentioned at Another Bookshelf, so I checked it out.  These girls (especially Helen) are a hoot.  Check it out.  I don't know how to do a link but here's the address:

margaretandhelen.wordpress.com

sarah palin interview with matt lauer

she is still denying the shopping spree. she has on her pink thrift shop jacket during the interview. she is a good little fibber. she says she didn't go into neimen marcus or saks. i wonder if the sales clerks will be on with matt tomorrow? when will she go away?

rite of passage

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27648558/

This was very interesting to me--especially what Carter had to say about Reagan

who asked

What will we talk about after the election?
Apparently for some, the talk is what Republican will oppose Obama in 2012!!

:::::rolls eyes::::

Is it just my household, or have you all noticed it too?

Those mass mailings for credit cards, pre-approved and bonuses for transferring balances used to come in the mail by the gob-fuls. Honestly, not a day would go by without someone in the household being offered a chance to own a credit card by AmEx, whatever Capital One was peddling that day, local stores and national chains. A lot of that seems to have dried up. Today we only had two offerings from Capital One- they changed the color of their envelope from white to sort of a light maize color and exhorted me not only to take them up on their limited time offer, but to recycle the paper it came on (I wanted to say,, recycle this, but being a suth'n lady with decorous manners, I refrained). Maybe the downturn in the economy will be a boon for the trees, or is junk mail a patriotic undertaking because it creates more jobs..... such a conundrum.

I just read that the author Tony Hillerman died.
Most of his mystery stories were set in the Southwest.
There was a female Shelfer who LOVED Hillerman,
but I've forgotten her name. I think she was a social worker?

Does life seem kind of....empty, now?

The Onion tells you why.

can't blame the Democrats for this

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/07/mccain.palin/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Apparently McCain aides are blowing the whistle on Palin--
and boy is she pissed

barack's news conference

wow, intelligent and a sense of humor.



i am blown away.

Ten Things Old Broards Are

1. Smart

2. Opinionated

3. Chatty

4. Feisty

5. Busy

6. Snarky, but only a wee bit

7. Simmering, like soup

8. And I mean really, really yummy soup

9. Able to clean their cache at will

10.And then help others!

Ten Things Old Broards Are Not

1. Shy

2. Apathetic

3. Passive

4. Conventional

5. Uninterested

6. (that) Old

7. Female (necessarily)

8. Possessors of Dried up Poons

9,

10,

GREAT pic of Obama

I don't know how to get the picture here (feel free to do that if someone knows how) so here's the link.

scottish romance

Scottish Romance

Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the
lonely-hearts column.


Grossly ov erweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks
nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit
dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be
willing to travel. Box 09/08

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
Box06/03

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested
in beer, cigarettes, Celtic football club and starting scraps on
Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82 .

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fiancée
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in
this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a
few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more
Box 84/87

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes,
seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce
along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential. Box 12/32

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social
functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the
arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big
chest. Box 40/27

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs
in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
Box 52/07

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition
at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic
man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and
listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the
night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

What???? You mean Africa is a CONTINENT????

Linky

Sarah Palin's out-of-control shopping problem

From Newsweek.com:

Newsweek has also learned that Palin's shopping spree at high-end department stores was more extensive than previously reported.  While publicly supporting Palin, McCain's top advisers privately fumed at what they regarded as her outrageous profligacy.  One senior aide said that Nicolle Wallace had told Palin to buy three suits for the convention and hire a stylist.  But instead the vice presidential nominee began buying for herself and her family--clothes and accessories from top stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus.  According to knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill.  Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards....

One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband.  Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost.  An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.

Sarah Palin as President

Wanna have some fun?  Click on this link, then drag your cursor around the picture and click on things.  Funny things will happen!

Roseanne Barr on Prop 8

yes president obama is an awesome president who will listen to the people!
the bitter: prop 8 passed, and will now be used to make opinion into law. be very afraid. we must seek to rid the churches of their tax exempt status...they cover miles of real estate in this country and do not pay their fair share for the police protection and the fire protection that they enjoy as a result of being huge owners of property. for the churches of america to have spent 80 million dollars on ads to train old women who long for freedom and for justice into becoming hate mongers who deny legal rights to the over 70,000 LIVING CHILDREN (in califonia alone)of gay unions, and weep and gnash their teeth over unborn fetuses...shame on you in the name of the lord jesus christ! your churches are not political action committees...the church telling people how to cast their votes is illegal under the constitution of this land. you satan worshipper anti-christers are going down, in the blink of an eye...your hatred makes you abhorrent to the lord. REPENT RIGHT WING ENEMIES OF FREEDOM IN AMERICA!!!!! for the followers of the prince of peace who said: there are no rich in heaven, your ministers and your priests are fake and they are perverse!!!! accept christ now into your heart and mind or be lost!!! who else but the churches and the synagogues and the mosques steal money from widows and orphans? rapes the children and then tells them its their own fault and then allows the homeless to sleep under bridges? who else marches their neighbors to their deaths? who else but the religions...all damned to hell in this new day of the LORD...who heralds the return of she who is and is now come.
this info is here for you for free ...please do not return here unless it is to discuss my writing. lots of work for people who care about the world and peace to get busy doing---pressuring obama from the left to do the right thing.

Michael Crichton dead at 66

Clicky

BARACK OUR WORLD!!!!!!!

sarah sarah sarah

i just saw you declare on tv that you plan on waking up tomorrow as the VP elect.


ummmm... i don't think so caribou barbie. time to return to the great white north. don't forget to leave your $150,000 wardrobe behind.

I love election day!

I wouldn't vote early for anything, because I get a thrill out of getting out there with everybody else and being a part of the greatest experiment in self-governance in human history!

I never fail to get a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.

Early Voting

Last night on the news, the figure of 42% of all registered voters in NC had already voted was given. What a fantastic number. I just hope it doesn't mean that no one will vote today. Daughter drove by our normal polling place where in 2004, the line was 3 hours long and she said no one was there. It is also raining, so that may hurt turnout today.

In other news- 11/3/08 MSNBC in their discussion of who will be the next secretary of the Treasury said that the Bush White House has provided unprecedented amounts of material and help to both campaigns about the economic situation so that for whomever wins, they will get up to speed quickly and to help them as they are picking their Treasury sec to look at the problems and see which of their folks may best fit the bill. Apparently more information is being shared and more open communication than ever in history from an outgoing president and administration.

learning to walk

the leadership at my school is really bad, so they keep using our work days to "invite" motivational speakers in (really means pay someone upwards of $10,000 to torture us). I was okay with the speaker until he asked everyone with a child between 1-2 to stand up and then proceeded to ask us personal questions about our kids. His point was to get us to agree with him that babies magically follow a natural learning process without prodding or teaching. His example? Rolling over, sitting up crawling and then walking. Okay I agree some things are natural to some people. Then he made a comment about not having to load the kids into an SUV and take them to walking lessons in a sarcastic way and laughed. I took a deep breath and then explained to captain asshole that actually, my kid has to go to "walking lessons" and we had to spend massive hours with OT and PT to get her to roll over, sit up, crawl and now walk what little she does. That when she does something new, like is able to use a sippy cup or pick up food to feed herself, I feel like we climbed a mountain. I just felt snippy that someone had the stones to lecture me for several hours on sensitivity and then flippanty brushed my daughter's struggle under the rug while I stood there. I know I need to just let it go, but it's hard.

Do You Know Where to Vote?

GoVote.org

obamas grandma

I was very sad to hear that obamas grandmama died.

so sad she didn't see him win the election.

"The Sad Grandpa"

If you missed SNL last night, The Sad Grandpa is one of John McCain's new campaign strategies.
The opening with McCain and Fey-as-Palin selling stuff on QVC was funny, but what was really hilarious was Ben Affleck as Keith Olbermann. He was WONDERFUL. Tree, I know you love Olbermann too, so find the spot on nbc.com and watch it if you didn't see it.

For those confused by Clanks blog

click here and of course you can be shocked by it on youtube if you click here

election thought

I just hope that Rag and Saria are prepared for the orgasms they'll have when Obama wins on Tuesday. They've both probably forgotten what one feels like.

Michael Palin for President

s

Ghosts of Halloweens Past

As I sit waiting for the trick-or-treaters to come, I can't help but think back on the glory days of the Old Shelf, and the fun of the Shelf Halloween party.  I would actually make a point of coming home early on that day so I could be there in time for the East coast Shelfers to arrive in costume.

I remember that one year I was NastyPcofWork, or something along that lines (in honor of Readfisher) and another I was DarkIncontinent (which I found ridiculously funny, even though no one else did.)  My best one was JuneCleavage.  I remember there were many delightful personae, although I can't remember any of them now.

So I lift my Michelob Ultra in a toast to the silliness and wittiness of Halloweens of yore on the Shelf!  It was a glorious time!

Studs Terkel Died

I've read his "Working"

have any of you read his stuff?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27478335/

the home stretch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMu4XlkKFsg

Wanna Feel Good About Being an American?

Watch this!

you can vote however you like

foul play cnn

CNN decided not to run obamas 30 minute infomercial tonight. they said they didn't want to cut into the news of the campaign. yet they interviewed old man mccain who cried foul about obama spending more money on the campaign. i guess mccain didn't mind the free air time with Larry King allowing him to speak basically unchallanged. i snorted when mccain called joe biden, joe the biden. he has said, joe the plumber, so many damn times he can't help himself. i want to barf.

SparkPeople

Did any of you ever join SparkPeople? If so, how is it working for you? I joined a while ago but kind of forgot about it. Also, I signed up as just "trying to be healthy" and not as a weight loss thing, but I'm thinking it would be better the other way around. Just looking for advice. Might as well do something productive.

Every Online Class I take

Every time I take a class online I convince myself that it will be better than the last time and I think I've finally learned my lesson that it doesn't get any better. In grad school, there was the sexist man who couldn't spell for shit and was always calling women "Baby." He was in almost every class I took and we got into a mighty row. Last time I took a class online at the community college, where I'm almost done my certification (thank god), there was this nutjob who taught it. He had a nervious breakdown half through the class and someone else had to stand in. I did a bunch of projects, but I don't think I learned anything about educational assessment.

This time I'm taking women's history and it's as bad as it sounds. I was going to drop it because I've been having a lot of health problems mixed with family health problems, but the prof told me that I can't drop it because I have the highest grade in the class and she NEEDS me to stay in. So, last week we covered Russia and pretty much it's efforts towards women's equality since 1875 until post ww2ish. We had to find a modern news article about women in Russia and talk about how it related to the past. I found a great article about spousal abuse from BBC. Many other women in the class were having rpoblems, so I told them all to look at BBC, as American news is crap internationally.

So, one woman posted about Russian women and abortions. I don't really care what other people think about abortion, as long as I don't have to a) hear about it or b) live up to their standards. My uterus is mine and mine alone. If you want a say in it, I'll write out a lease agreement and you can pay $1200 a month rent. Anyway, she was going on and on about abortions and then she said "Maybe one day Russians will get some family values." Yes, the crazy bitch went there. I took a deep breath and hit "respond." Now, I'm petty and I'm impulsive. My guy is constantly telling me not to pick fights with people over stuff like this, but I just can't help it. So I responded telling her that EVERY culture has family values and that having values different from hers does not make Russians a) valueless or b) bad.

Outstanding video for people who may be undecided

Send this one to your friends and family:

People in the Middle

Signs of the times

I saw my first Christmas decorations today at a house just up the road from us.

My question is...isn't it a tad to early to put out all that crap?  We barely get our tree up before Christmas Eve and there's no way I'm looking at it from now 'til Christmas.

When do y'all put up the decorations and how quick after Christmas Day do you take them down?

oh sarah sarah sarah

After reports of Ms. Palins wardrobe, she wore her "favorite" outfit from the consignment shop in her home town, along with her $35 wedding band, while campaigning yesterday.

allrighty then.


there have been complaints from her party line of her "diva" behavior. she is considered a liability. she spends time giving autographs and acts like a celebrity.
what were you thinking john mccain????

i wonder

what we shall talk about after the election? my guess it will be a bunch of bitching about who won and how they do things, that's been the MO for the past 12 years or so.

in other news hormones really suck

reason 1
i've been on a dark chocolate jag for a few weeks now. my guy went into the cold rain to the corner store for something and said he'd bring me some chocolate. i waited and waited for that chocolate, i just knew that chocolate would make everything better. my ovaries were screaming for some chocolate. damn if he didn't bring me espresso dark chocolate. now, we've known each other for about 11 years now and NEVER have i liked coffee anything. when i questioned his choice, his response was "we'll, i like it, so i'll eat it if you don't." i don't know what happened, but the chocolate ended up in the trash, it was like my body acted for me.

reason 2
last night we went to see miracle at st. anna. it was good, but too graphic. we had to go to an artsy AFI theatre near DC (they sold wine, so i had some). when we got out and went to the car, some asshat had parallel parked too close to us and we thought we were stuck. we were over an hour from our house in baltimore, so leaving the car wasn't a favorite option. i calmly got out and decided we could get out if we wiggled the car a lot, but i wasn't calm, something snapped in me right then. i grew up in a town where paallel parking was the only way, so i'm an expert in the field. my guy drove and i motioned him to back up or stop. using my multi-taking abilities, i wrote a nasty note. half an hour later, when the car was free, i placed said nasty note on the offending car. my need to keep post-its everywhere paid off. when my guy found out what'd i'd done, he lectured me all the way to get the baby and home about giving into my urges to do petty things. sometimes, i just can't be the bigger person and i have to be petty.

what if biden said what he was thinking

VP Debate - What if Joe Biden could have said what he was thinking? from HubVids

i cant stop

McCain's Brain #1: The Truth Behind Sarah Palin from SecretSauce.TV

opie for obama

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cc65ed650d

a small ray of sunshine

in the midst of all the turmoil with the economy and the election, i must say, The Office, brought some happiness into my life. once again the episode last night was hilarious. I am glad Michael has finally found what appears to be his soul mate. did you watch?

"Black Hitler"

http://www.suntimes.com/news/elections/1239195,barack-obama-adolf-hitler102308.article

Another example of Republican stupidity

For Spidey

Sarah Palin Porn

exclusive interview with mccain and palin

watching mccain and palin stroking each other about made me want to HURL!!!!

the full interview will be on tonight

i don't think i have the stomach for it.

Spidey, I have found the perfect website for you!

Enjoy!

Breast Cancer Funding

Heaven forbid that people care about curing breast cancer and that breast cancer and pink-rbbon-wearing women are spending more and more money trying to fight a disease that affects and kills women.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27283197/


Were people that outraged when drug companies spent millions finding a cure to old limp penises and therefore making Viagra a hot commodity?

sarah palins wardrobe

Sarah Palin’s $150,000 Wardrobe Oliver Willis


it just keeps getting better and better.

she also doesn't know what the hell a vice presidents role actually is. shouldn't she know that?

and cindy mccain. you look like an idiot with all your head shaking and agreeing up on the stage there with john.

W

Yesterday, I met Condorblue at the theater and we saw W.  It was not quite what either of us expected.  It was a bit surreal, broadly comic, almost slapstick, in spots, but almost sad in others. W is depicted as grossly envious of his father's favorite son, Jeb, and filled with anger at and competition with his famous father.  They poke some big fun at his hideously mangled English, making sure to include a number of his most famous screw-ups ("Is our children learning?")

The actress who plays Condoleeza is basically a celebrity impersonator, grimacing painfully every time she's on camera, and the guy who plays Colin Powell appears to have his cheeks stuffed with cotton balls (but Powell comes off as a thoughtful and admirable character, which I think has been verified by his recent remarks.)  The music was all over the place, sometimes comical (imagine "Robin Hood" blasting in the background as W in boots and jeans lopes through a pasture in Crawford, followed by an army of toadies in thousand dollar suits, slapping at mosquitoes and tripping over cowpies as they struggle to follow him) and sometimes heartrending (as the Shrub's agonized parents watch helplessly on TV as he digs himself ever deeper into the war that they know will be the undoing of him.)

It was an oddly fascinating piece of filmmaking.  Check it out.

More dirt on Sarah Palin

Palin's dirty travel secrets, per CNN.

eat a cookie

today at work we had a cookie poll. a cookie with john mccain on it, a cookie with obama on it. the question was posted.... which cookie do you like? everyone signed up for obama cookie. half way through the day, someone ate the mccain cookie. obama was the winner and I got to eat the obama cookie. quite delish!

athiests fight back

I quite like this

I wish...

..this election was over. I've already voted.

..that I could have one or two days to read without someone (Dennis) interrupting me every five minutes 

..that it could be 82 degrees every day

...my husband's  best friend wouldn't come down to see us, AGAIN, on Wednesday.  He was just here on Saturday and I almost went to sleep.  Plus, the best friend is a jackass.

...I had a maid to clean the house.

What's your wish?

Polls

http://www.usaelectionpolls.com/
I found this site on the presidential polls.
You can check all sorts of polls on this site

palin on snl

i don't think she was funny at all. they had everyone else doing most of the talking. they were probably afraid she would screw up. did you watch? here is the link. Saturday Night Live - Update: Palin Rap - Video - NBC.com however, her jamming behind the desk was mildly amusing. everyone else was hilarious.

How I'm feeling right now

Pete says it best

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENXhShuof1I&feature=related

way to go colin

Colin Powell Endorses Barack Obama

evidence

that there is at least one ethical Republican:

LAS VEGAS (Oct. 18) - Two senators in opposing political parties asked Republican presidential candidate John McCain to stop the automated phone calls that link Democratic candidate Barack Obama to a 1960s radical.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat, and Sen. Susan Collins, a Maine Republican, made separate appeals to McCain on Friday. Collins faces a tough race for re-election and serves as a co-chairwoman of his Maine campaign.
"These kind of tactics have no place in Maine politics," Collins spokesman Kevin Kelley said. "Sen. Collins urges the McCain campaign to stop these calls immediately."

"How can she be a racist!!??"

Amazingly the daughter of the woman who emailed this to her Republican group defended the cartoon and her mother.

woman: How is this racist?!

reporter: fried chicken? watermelon? ribs? Those are all African American stereotypes.

woman: I like fried chicken! I like watermelon! Plus my mother is married to a man who is Mexican--how can she be a racist??

the office

The Office was hilarious on thursday. i finally watched it last night.
did you watch?

Why are the lunatic fringe of the Republican party saying that only Republicans are "pro-America"? Apparently Democratics are anti-American.
These people must be really scared

The Greatest Generation

The Mushroom Pickers

This is a lovely little film made by the Minnesota Historical Society. My Aunt sent it to me because her husband (my father's baby brother) is feature in it speaking about the loss of their brother Robert E. Lee in WWII. There is a picture of Bob, the beautiful, handsome young man, I believe only 20 that year he was killed at the Battle of the Bulge. I have been reading his letters sent home that a cousin assembled. It is a touching film.

what exactly

is john mccain talking about and is it only me, or does he seem to talk in circles? his snide comments completely turn me off to anything important he may say.

Palin

You have to check out this website: http://palinaspresident.com/. It's too funny :)

connect the dots

Yesterday, I spent all afternoon with the dr to find out about my hnd gimpy (i apparently injured my spine and it messes with the nerve in my finger, so the pain moves all the way down. I start physical therapy next week and in is words "if that doesn't work, we can just fix it up" which I almost snorted at). When I got home, my friend who is staying with me until my guy gets back from his trip, informed me that the baby has red spots all over her body. I was a little worried as she had had a fever the day beore. I called "ask a nurse" at bluecross and she said it was no big deal, probably a reaction to the MMR shot she has 2 weeks ago and to just make sure her temp didn't go over 100.5. I called my mom and my mom said it sounded like chicken pox. I ignored everyone until the baby's temp hit 100.5 and then we went to the ER to spend several fun packed hours sitting in the middle of diseased people. The Dr at the ER informed me that she's having an allergic reaction to an antibiotic and to make sure that she never takes anything related to the medication ever again. So Mandolin is currently hopped out on benadryl and i'm looking like a zombie. She can't go to the daycare with spots, so I called off work. I'm a little alarmed because if I did what the "ask a nurse" said, i'd have given her the antibiotic and made her worse.

Fires in CA

In case anyone has been wondering, the Lakeview Terrace fire is about 5 miles from me. Luckily it seems to be moving in the opposite direction and the wind is blowing away from me. I shouldn't have to evacuate, but if y'all can think good thoughts I'd appreciate it.

A lovely Ballad

Hey Sarah Palin

the next debate

mccain has just stated that he will whip obamas back side in the next debate.
what is wrong with that maverick?

i think he is in for a big surprise.

Home

Husband got home last night from 10 days in Guatemala on a medical mission in a little Mayan town of about 450 people. Hopefully he didn't bring any little friends along with him, but if he did, I shall likely be getting your advice on how to get rid of them.

In other news, the National Pig and Rabbit extravaganza is coming up in two weeks in L'ville. I am bathing pigs today to see who makes the final cut. I have already made my entry, but am allowed to make a few substitutions by Wednesday. So I am trying to see who will do me proud. I have some nice pigs, they can all be beat, but I am not ashamed of them. Don't expect to win the big awards, but do expect to have great fun!

Happenings

So my ex-MIL is in town visiting and we are having the bestest time together. We've talked up a storm, gone cool places to eat, shopped and today I got a new tat! It's my fourth one, and it's on my left shoulder blade. Heidi took pics of me getting it and of it all completed, I'll post some on my blog later. The new tat is of a bow with an arrow in it and then within the space of the bow there are two chinese characters, one for health and one for happiness. I really like it, and it was really painful :)
So, who can guess what the bow and arrow stand for? If you guess correctly I may send you some pumpkin bread for the holidays :)

My project

I have to do a project for my European women's class. I've built my loom and picked my materials already. I've asked to do it on the chapter of the welfare state and women. I've decided to use Alice Walker's poem "Women" from her 1973 book Revolutionary Petunias & Other Poems. If you don't know the poem, here it is:

They were women then
My momma’s generation
Husky of voice—stout of
Step
With fists as well as
Hands
How they battered down
Doors…
How they led
Armies
Headragged Generals
Across mined
Fields
Booby-trapped
Ditches
To discover books
Desks
A place for us
How they knew what we
Must know
Without knowing a page
Of it
Themselves

Holly breaks up with Hefner

"It's probably a pretty safe bet to say that Hugh Hefner is the only 82-year-old guy who can break up with a 28-year-old model-actress and already have a handful of replacements ready to beat down his door. But, such is the life of the Playboy king, and he's opening up about his recent split from 'Girls Next Door' starlet Holly Madison."
---
oh Lawsy, what is we gonna do!!

my favorite halloween thing

Pumpkin Simulator

hey sarah palin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DIc8jdra0o

I voted

..early today.  There was quite a crowd on Monday to vote so we went early today and didn't have to wait on a voting machine.  As we left, there was a large group of people waiting to vote.  I'm wondering, if the news stories are right about the large early voting turnout, who'll show up on election day?

BTW-SNL has a weekday update tonight.  What are the odds that Tina Fey will show up as Palin again?

looking for a new author

Try this site find me an authour

mccain and palin are in wisconsin

I won't be going anywhere near waukesha today. the mavericks have ridden into town.

those two are making me ill. apparently i was not the only one who found mccain direspectful
during the debate, as i am hearing that all over the the news and from people i know who watched the debate also. condescending and rude.

Something Weird

When I look at the blogroll to the right of this page, I see some things I can't seem to get to.  It says that Emma's blog has a post called "For Spidey," but when I click the link, it says I'm trying to go to a post that doesn't exist.  The most recent one I can see is the "raining" one.

The same thing happens with Tree's blog--I can't get to the "split personality" one--I get an error message when I click that.  I can only read the Religulous one.  Anyone else having a problem?

the debate

so what did you think? did you watch?

my opinion... john mccain is very disrespectful to obama. he called him "this one" and made smirking laughing faces when obama was taking his turn to speak. at one point, while obama was speaking it looked like mccain was strolling around the floor, campaigning.
mccain keeps speaking about obama being inexperienced and unqualified. yet he chooses a moron as his running mate who hasn't a clue and has no experience other than being governor and she probable isn't qualified for that.

The Real Sarah Palin

tonights debate

what will tonights debate bring us? i hope someone told mccain to make eye contact with his opponent.

Heels go on, Gloves come off?

WTF?
sarah palin, do you have a clue?

Palin's posing is a disservice to women's rights

One Woman's Opinion

what's cooking today????

we are having a big pot of chili with onion and grated cheese topping. it is beginning to get a bit nippy here in wisconsin. i had to turn the heat on. :(

SNL

did you see this? hilarious

OJ's found guilty on kidnapping and burglary.
Perhaps he'll find Nicole's murderer in prison!

style vs. substance

SP didn't impress me. first off, don't wink at me. stop using the word, darn it. you sound like a moron. i must admit you did a great job memorizing your speech, but most of the time you didn't answer THE question being asked.

and stop hauling that baby around. he looked like a limp doll up on that stage.

Do you all have your popcorn ready for the Debate tonight?

It starts at 9pm and preemps The Office, but I don't mind (much)

Rosh Hashana

A friend sent me this fascinating Rosh Hashana "card."  It takes a few  minutes to watch, but it's very cool.

Linky.

What's cookin' tonight?

My family is all on the road again, so I had a (huge) baked potato and a glass of merlot.  What did you have?

Dear Old Broards,

I feel like I'm barely treading water these days. I jut want to quit my classes and my job and crawl into bed and come out again in the Spring. If only life were that simple. I think I may quit the women's history class. Those people are really out-of-their minds with all the crap they want us to do. I haven't taken a look at birthday pictures yet and my blog isn't letting me login in anyway, so i thought i'd post a picture of mandolin here with the blanket i made her (yes, that's a hood) playing drum on the dog's dish. yesterday the doctor told me (after spending 2 hours with us) that she thinks Mandolin needs to be re-tested and that the problems are more widespread than was first thought and I'm going to have to take my dog to be put to sleep soon. I hope someone is having a good month, because I'm sure not.

signed,

Jilly the not so old broard

what a mess

what more can i say?

The Sarah Palin Answer Generator

Go ahead--ask her a question.

Clicky

monday...... blech.

Program notes

For those of you who love living legends: Pete Seeger will be on Letterman Monday.
11:30 on CBS.

Note to Verbie: Lucinda Williams will be on October 2

Paul Newman

Legendary actor Paul Newman has died.
As well as a fine actor, he was a humanitarian and donated multi millions of dollars to charities, including his Hole-in-the-Wall camps for children with terminal illnesses. There are Newman Hole-in-the-Wall camps in many different countries now. His goodness has spread around the world. There was an excellent feature story about him in the recent Vanity Fair magazine.

Other celebrities and wealthy people should take a page, or several pages, from Paul's book.

He loved his wife, his children, acting, directing, race car driving and beer.

What a guy

saturday. ahhhhh

The Debate

What I learned:

1. Obama kept getting this speck of white spit on his lower lip. It was disconcerting.

2. McCain said he differs from Bush (no way) and that he idolized Reagan (blech.)

3. Obama will tax the rich and give tax cuts to the middle class.

4. McCain will tax the middle class and give tax cuts to the rich.

5. McCain says he has experience, intellect and judgment which Obama doesn't have.

6. Obama says that he has intellect, judgment and is ready to lead.

7. McCain says that he will increase off shore drilling to cut our dependence on foreign oil.

8. Obama says he will invest in solar, wind and nuclear energy to cut our dependence on foreign oil.

9. Obama says this economic crisis is the worst since 1929.

10. McCain says this economic crisis is the worst since 1929--and he should know because he was there, wearing a flapper dress and drinking bootleg whiskey.

Brit speak

Why is it that when Brits say naughty words suck as fuck it still sounds genteel? Example; I was at the Hollywood Bowl to see Eric Idle and at the end of his show there are some fireworks. He told the people sitting in the prime seats at the very front they had to move so as not to be set on fire. (Actually what he told them was "all of you rich people in the best seats have to move" or something to that effect). But apparently not all of them believed him because he looks down and there are still some sitting there. So he says "no really, fuck off" and of course all the rest of us laugh, but what I loved was that it didn't sound coarse, like if an American had said it, it wasn't as offensive. I just find it so amusing when I hear Brits say bad words. Is it just me?
And on another note, Alex, if I move to England can I come stay with you? Our country is going down like the Titantic...

What goes first?

With the eminent demise of the US economy as we know it, what will be the first thing you sell on eBay to get money so you can feed your family?

Insert your own financial disaster

This is the best financial advice I've heard all week:





If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95. With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

the greater depression

i just heard on tv that if something isn't done soon,per sarah palin and oldman mccain, but i am not sure cause i never know what the hell he is talking about, that we may be in a depression by monday. mccain wants to postpone the debate. i bet the folks who have footed the 4.5 million dollar bill for that are real happy.

mccain does NOT have a fucking clue.

looks like hamburgers might be a luxury soon.
i am glad i didn't go on the diet like i was going to. i might need some of this body fat to survive.

Funny

The Crazy Adventures of Wassup Holmes

Help please

Maddie has a project for her makeup class. She needs to find two recognizable full front faces pre-1950 that she can make her own face look like. I think I know her too well. I am having trouble coming up with people that look similar to her. So far I have Olivia De Haviland and nothing else

Thanks

"Grandpa, What's For Supper?"

Remember that old bit from Hee-Haw?

Anyway, for supper tonight I had a Caesar salad, and potato chips with French Onion dip. What did you have?

take 2 advil and get bent

I went to the nurologist for my hand gimpy issue. I was pushy when I'm usually laid back because the pain is now radiating from my middle right finger all the way down my arm through my elbow to my shoulder all the way down my spine to my lower back. I can't hold my daughter for more than 15 minutes and sometimes when I pick her up, I have to put her down so I don't drop her. I expected some compassion from this man. I sat in the exam room long enough to catch up on celebrity gossip from last June that I don't really care about. After an hour, I heard a man and a woman stand outside the door talking about my issue and deciding what to do about it. I became snippy soon after because I dislike doctors talking about how to fix my problem when they haven't even seen me, talked to me, or been given any of my paperwork to read. So when he came in I said to him, "Look, you don't know me, but I had a c-section last year and not only was I ready to get up and walk the same day, but I didn't take the pain medication they gave me beyond tylenol. These past weeks have been the most painful of my life. I've been taking prescription pain medication just to scrape by. I need help." Damn if that fucker didn't write me off and tell me to take advil after ordering a bunch of tests. If 9 extra strength rapid release tylenols don't help, wtf will 2 advil do?

Palin's town charged women for rape exams

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/21/palin.rape.exams/index.html

Im sorry I have no class

I never drink Baileys!!!!

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink.

The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The Bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

A salt shaker,
A shot of Baileys,
A shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue,
Next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.'
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue........salty but OK.

He drinks the shot of Baileys and holds it in his mouth........smooth,
Rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks........this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits....

At two seconds the Baileys curdles.....

At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like
consistency hits.....

At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, Jesus what do you call that drink?'

She smiles widely at him and says, 'Blow Job Revenge.'

The Emmys

What was good about last night's Emmys:
1. Tina Fey winning best actress in a comedy and best writing, and 30 Rock winning best Comedy.
2. Ricky Gervais having fun with Steve Carell taking his Emmy last year.
3. Tommy Smothers accepting a writing Emmy for the 1968 Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour

What was awful about the Emmys: EVERYTHING ELSE.

This awards show was the absolute WORST I have ever see. Among the low of the lowlights:
1. The awful five cohosts: Bob Bergeron, Howie Mandell, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst and Ryan Seacrest. Whose idea was that and when ill they be fired?
2. The awful "tribute" to Laugh-In. I was embarassed for the wonderful Lily Tomlin having to participate in that mess.
3. The awful 60-show theme song tribute by Josh Grobin. Poor Josh did his best with that mess.
4. Worst presenter pairing of the night: David Boreanz of Bones with that why-is-she-famous Lauren Conrad. He looked like he's rather be having dental work done.
5. Diva-of-the-night: Glenn Close dismissing America Ferrera who tried to give Close her Emmy and Close said, "hold it for me will you" while she gave her speech. Hold it your damned self.
6. Queen of tv Oprah (or Opfah as Big Al calls her) introducing the show. Oprah, you're not the best thing since sliced bread girl, no matter what Gayle might tell you.


Awful, awful, awful

Another question--Favorite Gifts

I know I've been boring you to death with my mommy stories, I can't help it. I'm on my period and my baby isn't going to be a baby much longer, so my hormones are beating me up. Anyway, what's the best gift someone you've been in a relationship with gave you?

Today my guy surprised me with a gift for (as he called it) the anniversary of me being a mom. He secretly took videos of the baby for the past year and then compiled highlights into a 10 min video. Of all the stuff he's bought me over the years, this is by far the best thing ever. He isn't creative in the least and can only make things using computer code, so I was so shocked and awed by it. Right at this second, he's sitting next to me making a similar video of the birthday party to share. If I ever get any on youtube, I'll share it.

from the bbc

Mr Hagel also criticised the McCain campaign for its suggestion that the proximity of Alaska to Russia gave Mrs Palin foreign policy experience.
"I think they ought to be just honest about it and stop the nonsense about, 'I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia'," he said.
"That kind of thing is insulting to the American people."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7623771.stm


Yay Chuck Hagel. I can see my car engine--doesn't make me a mechanic.

Question for Verbie

If your bra creaks is it the wrong size?

Survey

If you have children (knowing any counts as does answering for yourself), what was their first word?

I ask this because my daughter graced us with her first word the other day (which I missed!) and now we're in an argument about what her first word actually was. Mandolin told my guy "NO!" twice the other day when she iddn't get her way and said it yesterday to her godmother for the same reason. However, the day before that, she started meowing to the cats and then crawled around after them trying to engage in some sort of interaction with them (they hate her, so I guess she's trying to make nice.)

I'm firm in my beliefe that "meow" counts as a word, while my guys says "no way, she said no and so "no" it is." Today she started barking at/with the daycare woman's pug puppy, so I think that should count too as I looked up "Meow" and "Bark" and they're onomatopoeias.

Hey ladies

How do I add in links to blogs I read on my personal blog? For some reason I can't figure it out :p

Surgeon's visit

Well I just saw my surgeon yesterday for my one year check up and I am currently NED (no evidence of disease for all you lay people) :) I am going to have my chemo port out next month since everything looks good and I am going to ask my regular doc for a referral to a plastic surgeon to talk about reconstruction. Yay!

Where in the World is Clank?

Clanky, where are you and why haven't you updated your blog? Did you go out and get one of those "lives" thingies?

Play along

1. You have $10,000 to travel with. Where would you go and what would you do?

2. You have a choice between getting an expensive head-to-toe makeover with an expert fashion consultation, or getting one of the rooms in your house a redo. Which one would you choose and why?

3. New computer or new television?

4. You're given a new car. What would it be? If possible, post a link o a picture so we can all see.

5. You can have dinner with any living writer (because a dead writer wouldn't be so conversationally stimulating.) What writer would you choose and where would you go?

Sorry Alex, but I had to

A Spanish asked McCain if he'd be willing to meet with the Spanish president if elected, and he replied something like he'd be willing to meet to any leader who counts as an ally, and then named the mexican president as a possibility. Now I'll opently admit that off the top of my head I don't know who the President of Spain is, nor do I really need to, but I'm not running for president based off my experience with foreign governments either. However, if the woman asked me about Spain, I wouldn't respond about Mexico. When someone asks about France, I don't start talking about Canada. She kept on asking him, and he never once did he answer her. He seemed confused to me.

In other news, the baby said her first word last night and I missed it : (

Spidey

Can you invite me to read your blog? :) My blogger is jeanmarie1921@yahoo.com.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Things are a bit quiet around here. Is everyone busy looking at their financial portfolio? My advice, don't look!!!!
I have been busy attending to spideydaughter. If you are bored, you could always go to my blog and take a look at her giagantnormous tonsils before they were removed. make sure you aren't eating before you look.
So what is new with you?

Sarah Palin name generator

Heh heh heh...

this was

On the bbc site and was quite interesting In as much as anyhting about you bloody election can be classed as interesting

Agatha Christie Speaks

Im not sure if you can listen if you are foreign

credit scores

Here's interesting Credit Score Myths that was on AOL:
http://www.walletpop.com/credit/experian/credit-score-myths?icid=100214839x1209585493x1200526602

I told you Tina Fey is a genuis

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin & Amy Poelher as Hilly.

They didn't post the whole bit :( it was hilarious
"Palin" goes on to say that she shouldn't have to put up with being called a MILF . . .

lol


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3IcXHjaPrc

Equal Time

From the mouth of David Letterman:

1. Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years.

2. I like John McCain. He looks like the guy who turns his business over to his son but still shows up once a week.

------------

I recommend you all read the new Rolling Stone. It's all about comedy--Letterman, Chris Rock, Tina Fey, Amy Poelher, Don Rickles, Robin Williams, Sarah Silverman, Phyllis Diller.

Great stuff

EVYunq

Is dead Allan wanted ded to tell but I begged to be allowed and he said I could so now I have. he thinks we should allow the inane fuckwit to post on here too I said fuck off

Fall season

I know this isn't as important as politics or cats, but anyone planning to watch Survivor or The Amazing Race this Fall?
I can't wait for the new season of The Office and 30 Rock.

What show are you waiting to come back?

Murf Speaks!

I guess I have to have a blog on here, so here goes:
I KNOW McCain is old. What? You were all gonna vote for him if he was nearer in age to Obama? I didn't think so. And I wouldn't vote for Obama no matter old HE was (or is) either.
Aren't you all worried that Obama has been in the Senate for what...ten minutes? You probably aren't. If McCain had just gotten there though, you'd all have PLENTY to say.
We have a guy running for the state legislature here and he's pro-life as any Republican has to be around here. He asked if he could put a sign in my yard. I told him he'd have to be pro-choice for me to permit that. He skipped off to the next house.
I hear Sarah Palin's glasses are now all the rage. I think she should call 1955 as they want their glasses back. I run into her type all the time in my Republican travels. They always tell me that God loves me. I don't bother to tell them that I think we are all masssive computer programs controlled by beings superior to us, but that much more superior. That would probably make those right-wingers faint if I said that.
And does anybody watch Bridezilla's on the We channel? I love Bridezillas. The Bridezillas mainly moan and groan when any attention leaves them. I can understand that as no one will probably ever pay that much attention to them after their wedding. Some Bridezillas are worse than others though. One of them said f--- every other word, it seems. She listed her occupation as "Nanny". Yiiiiiiiiiiikes!
And I always watch "Platinum Weddings" after Bridezillas. Those are the weddings where the average budget for the wedding is 700,000. And these Platinum brides always have designer gowns that they always model for their mothers (or whomever the Bride chooses for the viewing). And almost every time, after viewing the gown, I yell at the screen--"TAKE IT BACK, YOU PAID TOO MUCH FOR THIS DISASTER!" But the mothers ooh and ah and tell the bride how beautiful the Bride looks. No, they don't. But as usual, nobody listens to me.
Hence, you are all voting for that guy from Chicago.
I like to stick out in a crowd. Those Bridezillas should take a tip from me if they want that much attention. Have opposing views!

glass houses

In one of my classes we have a girl who has trisomy 21 (known commonly as Down Syndrome). She is sweet, and has yet to act out in inappropriate ways in our class (mostly because she likes me). Her parents are in strong denial about her abilities and swear that she's going to go to a 4 year college and get a degree, and if asked, state that it's Harvard. Anyway, today some of our "normal" children went nuts and had a rather large fight, once i got that cleaned up, i found her on the other side of the room crying hysterically. It had nothing to do with the fight, but the fight didn't help. I took her out to find out what was going on, and on the way out, I noticed several students fake crying at her and making fun of her.

I pushed it off to the side and dealt with her problem and we went back to class. When we came back, the same students started in on her right away. I took a deep breath and decided to make some calls later. She is mentally retarded, everyone can see that, but she is still human, has rights and feelings and knows they'remaking fun of her, and it doesn't hurt any less because she is m.r. After school I sat and thought about how my mom would have reacted if she'd gotten a call saying that I was picking on mentally retarded kids for kicks. I think the response would have been to a) beat me until i was retarded or b) sign me up as a volunteer working with m.r. kids every free second i had until i got over myself after somehow making me wish my life was over via some elaborate show in front of all my peers. I get my evil petty streak from her.

So I've been sitting here, pondering what to say to these kids. If i had my way I'd say:
"I feel so bad for you, that you are so small you feel good making someone who is profoundly disabeled cry. That seems to be the only way that you yourself can feel important. That's a pretty low place to be, and I hope that you can work your way out of there, or you learn to keep it to yourself because the rest of us don't need it and no one deserves it."

Now I can't say that, we're only allowed to use PC crap to deal with issues like this. Since I'm unsure what else to say to them, once I get started, i'll probably go off the deep end, I've asked someone else to come in and do it. I plan for it to happen after my co-teacher and I let it be known how ashamed of them we are in general. My co-teacher is a nice person, but this is her first year out and i'm still potty training her, and if i'm afraid to say the wrong thing, it's a sure bet she would.

And now for something completely different:

Check out this guy's amazing work with paper and glue:

Clicketyclick

What questions are you asking yourself these days?

I am completely zen again

Had a talk with the guy yesterday at lunch, found out he has been also seeing someone else, and since we never actually said we were exclusive I'm not hurt by that. I did tell him that I will most likely not keep seeing him if he's seeing someone else because that's not what I want. He said he understood and that he would think about it this week and maybe we could have dinner on Friday before I fly out to Tahoe on Saturday. Now that I know what's going on I feel totally fine. If it ends because he wants to date other women that's ok and if he decides to just see me that's ok too. I realize it's just the uncertainty that gets me; knowing something isn't quite right but not knowing what it is. Now I know and I'm good to go, either way. :)

for all you cat lovers

how to install a catflap properly

for all you budding miss marples

try this whodunnit

Question of the day

Since you've become an adult, what's something you do every Saturday without fail (unless you're away on vacation or something like that)

Me: I do laundry

PLEASE.....

The message from minnesota and old man mccain didn't do a damn thing to impress me.
palin and mccain are going to be in wisconsin today. big f'ing deal. mccain said he can't wait to
introduce palin to washington. those two are irritating the sh*t out of me.


as my son told me last night... he doesn't earn enough to be a republican.

More politics

interesting take on Palin

http://my2bucks.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/a-letter-from-someone-who-has-known-sarah-palin-since-1992/

Help

Ok, all of you wonderful wise women, please read my recent post on my personal blog and give me your insights, suggestions, advice. I'm a basket case and need your help :(

What

Will all you people talk about after the election?

coming Palin scandal? (apologies, Mum)

This was posted today on my sports board:

Coming soon, the National Enquirer will publish a story about an affair including Palin and her husband's business partner.  The McCain camp has already issued a statement about it, and the National Enquirer responds as follows:

"The National Enquirer's coverage of a vicious war within Sarah Palin's extended family includes several newsworthy revelations, including the resulting incredible charge of an affair plus details of family strife when the Governor's daughter revealed her pregnancy.  Following our John Edwards exclusives, our political reporting has obviously proven to be more detail-oriented than the McCain campaign's vetting process.  Despite the McCain camp's attempts to control press coverage they find unfavorable, The Enquirer will continue to pursue news on both sides of the political spectrum."

So, if it's true, and of course that's a big if, why would you accept McCain's offer with a skeleton THAT big in your closet?

for mems

More Politics

It's now confirmed that Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter is unwed and pregnant.

The Repubs are a party of "Family Values"--who can forgot ole Dan Quayle going after fictional character Murphy Brown for having an out-of-wedlock son?
They don't want sex education in schools.
They don't want to hand out condoms in High Schools.
They don't want to fund Planned Parenthood.
They don't want women to have control over their own reproductive organs ("Keep your hands off of my uterus!")

How long will it take before the Repubs put a positive spin on this tempest in a teapot--"at least she's having the baby!" "She'll marry the dad!" "She won't KILL THE FETUS by having an abortion!"
How long? About 12 hours as I see it.
Personally, I think she should give up the baby for adopton--I'm sure Brangelina will take the poor tyke in.

For Ms Grumpy Sidebottom

Well, I can't talk about cat's period's because luckily Monkee does not have any but I can tell you that she's been bugging the crap out of me since I got back home. She's been complaining and actually biting me for a day now. See what you are missing Alex? :)

Hello!

Thank you for allowing me to sit at the in table ladies! :)

Blogroll

I put a kind of Blog roll on the right side. If you have any favorite sites or blogs let me know and I'll add them.

Verbie, do you want yours up?

Cats

Another of Mems fav topics :)

I have a question: Can a female cat who has been spayed still have a period?

The other day I noticed some tiny blood spots out on the back porch where we keep Nesta at night. At first I thought LP had injured himself and he said no. Later he said that he thought Nesta might have because there was little blood speck near her naughty bits.

Politics

What a shocker (yawn) McCain picks a woman running mate. Who would have anticipated that? oh, yeah. . . me. I did. In my blog. Along with thousands of others I'm sure. He's trying to court us Hillary backers. This pick just shows that his handlers really think women are stupid.

just for gail

can you see me now???????????? :)

Shameless self promotion

I just added a link to my Etsy store to my blog :) yippee!

MJ turns the big 50.

what the hell did he do? flipping through the gallary makes it even more obvious that
he is one messed up guy. Michael Jackson Faces His 50th Birthday

my 50th is right around the corner and i am still cute.

Time marches on, digitally, of course

Here's Beloit College's annual mindset list.  It always blows me away.  Check out how times have changed since you were a freshman.

The end of For Better or For Worse:

http://www.parentdish.com/2008/08/28/for-better-or-for-worse-what-was-old-is-new-again/?icid=100214839x1208211466x1200471651

An anniversary

It was one year ago today that Dennis and his brother sold the pharmacy and retired.

Since then, Dennis and I have been together every single solitary day, all day long, seven days a week.

My question is: are we absolutely sure that a year contains JUST 365 days?  I could swear it's more...way more.

Can I perform?

why, yes I can

And you thought YOUR school was bad!

Worst colleges in america!

Hey Emma!

Ded needs help.  He's trying to figure out how to post something.  He doesn't have a "new post" link at the top of his page.  Can you help?

Only in the South...

..would there be a magazine combining two of our favorite activities:

www.gardenandgun.com

And yes, I just subscribed.

an ancient italian art

this is very rude but mildly amusing

For Verb

Extreme Ironing

32 degrees

I've been thinking how times have changed. One SMALL way:
When I was in high school, it was my junior year when the administration started "allowing" girls to wear jeans and trousers to school! But it had to be at least 32 degrees outside!! Can you imagine? So every winter morning, we had to call the Time & Temperature number (every city has one . . .usually sponsored by a bank) to check the temp outside.
What stupid thing went on in your high school?

look what i found

The Grinch That Stole the Blogs…
Every shelfer in Shelfville liked blogging a lot...But Vanda52, who lived just north of Shelfville, Did not!
Vanda hated blogging! Just like something he pees on!Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.It could be, perhaps, that his clogs are too tight.But I think that the most likely reason of all,May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, his heart or his cloggersHe stood there on Christmas Eve hating those bloggers.Staring at the screen with a sour Vanda frownAt the warm lighted fonts with their verbs and their nouns.All the Shelfers knew, in fact, often they heard," You'll all grow tired of the blogs, just mark my word!"
"They're posting their musings," he snarled with a sneer" They've been posting so long, the end must be near!"Then he growled, while on his newspapers peeing," I must find some way to stop the blogs from being!"For tomorrow he knew, all the Shelf guys and galsWould wake bright and early, and read everyones but Kal's.
And then! Oh, the clicks! The click! Click! Click!That's one thing he hated! The click! Click! Click!
Then the Shelfers, young and old, would sit down to typeAnd they'd type! And they'd type!And they'd TYPE!TYPE!TYPE!TYPE!
They would type about their families, or coupons from YeastWhich was something that Vanda couldn't stand in the least.
And then they'd do something, he liked least of allEvery Shelfer in Shelfville, the tall and the small.They would log in together, go to the "What's New" pageAnd check on all the comments that had just been made.
They'd read! And they'd read!And they'd read! READ! READ! READ!And the more Vanda thought of what TreeSquish had startedThe more Vanda thought, "These fools and their words will soon be parted!"" Why for a few months I've put up with it now!"I must stop it from continuing!"BUT HOW?"
Then he got an idea!An awful idea!Vanda got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" Vanda laughed in his throatAnd he made a fake screen name, and sat down to gloat.And he chuckled and clucked, "What a great Vanda wish“ With this new name and font, I look just like TreeSquish!"
All I need is a helper.And Vanda looked around.An accomplice this evil...were there none to be found?Did that stop old Vanda?" No," Vanda simply said." I can get a helper, I know just the fag."So he IM'd his buddy, "Hey, wanna help with a gag?"And before he knew it, his accomplice was Nag.
ThenThey went to the websiteThey began reading the lettahsThey were signed on as TreeSquishAnd Nag became Bedda.
Then Vanda said, "Let's go!"And they scrolled on downToward the spots where the ShelfersWould all go to write their verbs and their nouns.
All the Shelfers were busy, didn't notice Vanda and NagThey were too busy posting, to notice the lag.When he came to the first blog, it was Emma, the hag." This is delete number One!" Old Vanda did hissThen moved his cursor down, not one did he miss.He slid down the titles. There must be twenty-three.But, if Tree could do it, then so could he!He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.But moved right on to the next one that’s new.All of these blogs, all aligned in a row.But, Jim's World of Fun, was the next one to go!
He scrolled and he scrolled, with a smile most unpleasantThen deleted their archives, from the past to the present.Cookie recipes, work stories, Jilly's underwearCyber's big move, Nick's Literati, and Verb's great big hair.He hit the button, Vanda did, "I'll get rid of this junk!"Requires so much, Loom with a View, and This Little Chunk.
Then he looked at their comments, "Yeah, Sweetness and Light"All the Emma Allows, bull shit, yeah right!He emptied them all, like going through a cupboardSpidey's Web, Fez Says, and Tracee Uncovered.He paused his finger, held it there with glee" And now!" grinned Vanda, "I'll hit the delete key!"
He was just about to hit it, oh, what a thrill!Then he got an IM, Oh what a buzz kill!He looked at the message, from just a young critterIt was none other than, our very own Britter.
Vanda and Nag had been caught by this tiny Shelf daughterWho’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.She typed to Vanda and said, “Vanda, why?”“ Why are you taking our blogs away? Why?”
But, you know, that old Vanda was so smart and so slickHe thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.“ Why, my sweet little tot,” old Vanda lied,“ There’s a problem here, all on the left side.“ So, I’m downloading them, so I can defrag, my dear“ I’ll fix it up there, then I’ll put it back here.”
His fib fooled the child, from what he’d readSaid his goodbyes and sent her to bedAnd when little Britters finally signed offHe hit that button, and he laughed and he coughed.
The last thing he tookHe got rid of Bedda, that big-mouthed town crierThen he spun round in his chair, himself, the old liarOn their screens, he left nothing but keys and some wire.
And the one speck of writingThat they left at the siteWas writing too small for even a mite.
ThenThey did the same thingTo the other parts of the site.Leaving writingsMuch too smallFor the other Shelfer’s mites.
IT was a quarter past dawnAll the shelfers, still a-bedAll the shelfers, still a-snoozeWhen his screen finally went deadIt was loaded with everything, their pictures, their wordsThe jokes! And the Trivia! All done by those nerds.
Three thousand feet away! On the Island LongHe settled down to bed, wasn’t concerned ‘bout being wrong“ Pooh-Pooh to the Shelfers!” he was grinch-ish-ly humming“ You mark my words, there’ll be no more blogs coming!”“ They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!“ Their mouths will hang open a minute or two“ Then the Shelfers of Shelfville will all cry BOO-HOO!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned Vanda52“ That I simply must hear!”So he paused, and then put his hand to his ear.And he did hear a sound rising over the snowIt started out low, then it started to grow…
But the sound wasn’t sadWhy, this sounded merry!It couldn’t be so!But it was Merry! Very!
He stared out at Shelfville!Vanda52 popped his eyes!Then he shook!What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Shelfer down in Shelfville, he couldn’t believe what he sawWere blogging! Without their old blogs at all!He hadn’t stopped blogs from coming!They came!Somehow or other, the came just the same!
And Vanda, with his papers yellow like his snowStood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”They blogged without trivia, they blogged without jokesThey just started all over, these strange Shelfville folks.And then he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.Then Vanda thought of something he hadn’t before!“ Maybe blogging,” he thought, “wasn’t such a bore.“ Maybe blogging…perhaps…means a little bit more.”
And what happened then…?Well…in Shelfville they sayThat Vanda’s small heart Grew three sizes that day!And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tightHe uploaded their blogs through the bright morning light.And he brought back the words! With their multi-colored hues.And he…He himself…Vanda started one too!--Composed by Schell